Monday, December 21, 2015

Heart Ponderings & Why I Refuse to Let Dog Vomit Win


I woke up to dog puke this morning. And then I broke a few things by accident. Which led me to
think I’m pretty much guaranteed to have one sucky day.

That was until I remembered the time of year. And all that’s happened in my life over the past year. And you.

I ordered the cranky voice quiet and took a few moments to reflect on all I have to be thankful for.

Things like…
Kids that still open their arms to hug me, a roaring fire in the fireplace yesterday, a husband who brought up my books to the company we hosted this weekend, my books—that I’ve worked hard and and people are actually buying and reading them, my health (even though I’m really curious about a few new bumps and red dots on my skin), that I have a God who teaches me how to forgive and love deeply, candles, warm blankets, that I even have a dog (wild and crazy as she is), the walk I took with my husband last night, family I love to talk to on the phone, a memorable church message, a motley crew of diverse and fortifying friendships, the will in me to grow and learn, an indestructible fight inside of me. The glory of this season. Every day I get to be here on earth. . .
published four books

And I ponder in my heart, much like Mary did that majestic evening she held her newborn in her arms, when life feels most overwhelming and kissed by a spiritual otherness that’s difficult to conceptualize, it’s best to embrace all of the gifts of truth we’ve been given. To cling fast to life, and light, and everything that imbues us with hope.

Because hope is living and real. 
{And it’s far more appealing than dog vomit.}


Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Monday, December 14, 2015

Twenty-five Things Every Longtime Writer Will Experience


If you’ve dedicated yourself to the craft and you plan to stick with this writing thing, I’m going to let you in on a few well-known secrets. You can expect at least three-quarters of the following to apply to you at some point along the long haul. So, a toast. Because we’re in this together. And we can laugh and bond over...

Twenty-five Things a Longtime Writer Is Sure to Experience
  1. Every winter your hands will turn freakishly numb at the keyboard.
  2. Your skin will get thick, then thin, then thick again. {Rinse & repeat.}
  3. You will see others get an agent, a contract, a three-book deal and believe. Oh, you’ll believe.
  4. You will wait for what feels like eternity and every other day you’ll be tempted to abandon all belief—not just in getting published, but in all mankind.
  5. You will see someone else’s printed and edited draft and secretly wish for them to edit yours.
  6. There will be days your work is the best thing you’ve ever read.
  7. There will be days your work is the biggest load of crap you’ve ever read.
  8. You will go nuts when an admired author follows you back on Twitter.
  9. You will forget how many days in a row you’ve camped out in your pajamas and talked only to your characters.
  10. You will jump through every hoop possible in order to get published until you find that hoop-jumping is not your thing. Writing is.
  11. You will read Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird and fall in love with the craft all over again.
  12. Facebook and social media in general will become the ultimate bug zapper. But you’ll fly toward it, vulnerable every time your thoughts run dry.
  13. You’ll read reviews and instead of defining you as a writer, they will serve as small teaching tools you’ll be able to readily accept or let go. This is after you’ve memorized every single one.
  14. Your coffee and your tea will grow cold and you will forget to eat lunch.
  15. People will think you’re rolling in it. You will fight the temptation to tell them otherwise. Or if you’re like me, you’ll be downright honest and make the classic joke about your book that’s sure to make you millions.
  16. You will find that one evening your writing absolutely sings after you’ve tipped back that extra glass of wine only to reread your WIP the next day and have a good laugh.
  17. You’ll study all the latest sales and marketing trends, as well as all of the most compelling book plot ideas to discern what reaches audiences, only to find everything changes with the seasons.
  18. Adaptability will become king.
  19. You’ll have a few semi-delusional moments when you swear you see your characters while you’re shopping and it will take everything inside you to clamp your mouth shut so you don’t walk up to them and call them the wrong name. P.S. This happens in T.J. Maxx a lot.
  20. You will celebrate with other writing friends. You will cry with other writing friends.
  21. You will be staring right at someone, nodding, giving every indication you’re paying attention but you’ll be in Fictionland with your characters.
  22. The best plot ideas and dialogue will come to you at 3am or when you’re in a bathtub full of water.
  23. You’ll never quite know how to respond when someone informs you they’ve read your book but gives you no indication of what they thought.
  24. The biggest tragedy of getting sick won’t be throwing up or spending hours moaning near the toilet, it’ll be that you’re away from your computer, unable to write.
  25. No matter how brutal it gets, you won’t quit. Because you’ve come this far.

Monday, November 30, 2015

A Whole Lot of Happenings Going On

This is a whirlwind time of year. Just put up our tree yesterday. Advent starts tomorrow. I’m excited to announce some key things I’ll be involved with in the coming days.
Join me at my Facebook Party December 10th @ 7:00pm (party runs all afternoon & starts at 1pm). Come hang out with a cool group of authors. Ask questions and join the discussion for a chance to win free books. Perfect time for the holidays!



My Goodreads Giveaway launches late tomorrow night – December 14th. I’m giving away 3 copies of The Short & Sincere Life of Ellory James. Enter the giveaway for a chance to win! And please help spread the word.
Hey look, my book made the local paper. Woot!


Finally, local friends, come buy your own signed copy of my books at the following Vendor Fairs this week. Would love your support!
Buttonball Lane: Tues. Dec. 1st 3-6pm
Hopewell: Fri. Dec. 4th 5:30-7:30pm


Whew! As if this time of year isn’t busy enough. ;-) *See you back here on the 14th!

Monday, November 23, 2015

A Word about Quitting


Why can’t I be more of a quitter? There are days I really want to desert this road to publication. The
temptation to bail hits me hard. I convince myself I’m not cut out for the life of a writer.

Things get particularly daunting when I have to make the difficult decision to move on from an agent, or a close friend receives a drool-worthy offer, or I read my stuff and seriously consider shredding it and feeding it to the dog.

Eventually, a powerful message rises to the surface and riptides my thoughts.

You aren’t a soccer player but you are a writer.

Now, if you’ve visited my blog much, you know I’m far from a mathematician and you might be scratching your head trying to work out the logic behind what I just wrote. There isn’t an A + B = X (or whatever) equation that makes sense of the soccer player/writer sentence. There’s just life.

Let me explain.

I played travel soccer for my entire childhood. I was a teenager when I made the spontaneous decision to quit playing. I loved soccer. I still love the sport and have a blast cheering on my kids when they play. I can honestly say quitting soccer is one of the few regrets I have in life—regret squared because I quit for the wrong reasons.

I took my eyes off of the most important thing—my experience with the sport. I stopped playing because my older sister was better. I’m not making this up. She really was. She was All-American, met Pele, got a full ride scholarship for her skills, and eventually went on to play against Mia Hamm in college. She was a soccer rock star. I was solid. And I should have stuck with it. For the love of the sport. Sometimes I wonder what would have been. . .

Fast forward several decades and you have me, a writer, fiercely dedicated to my craft, though still facing that familiar temptation to bow out. It’s so easy to get sidetracked, believing others are better, garnering more attention, that they have something I don’t. They do have something I don’t. And I have something they don’t. The stories inside me. In the way that only I can tell them.

Right at the moment when I feel like the biggest writer schmuck on the planet, I tend to find some humor-filled way to immerse myself in my current project. I coach myself in Star Wars talk, “Stay on target” or I Church Lady-myself until I get in my word count, remembering all of the positive affirmations that I’ve encountered along this Yellow Brick Road (paved with flying monkey poop…it’s funny to me. Writers have a bit of an absurd and well-timed ability to entertain ourselves. We’re alone a lot…it’s part of the gig).

And when the humor wears off and the word count is complete and I’m left with my Tilt-A-Whirl brain, I’m met with a choice. Day in. And day out. Ride the self-doubts? Or hop off so I can get busy doing what I love?

I decide. Every day I decide.

I’m not a soccer player. But I am a writer.

*Pic is of me in my glory soccer days. P.S. It was the 80s. That’s how everyone wore their shorts! ;-)


Monday, November 16, 2015

Book Clubs—Still Going Strong

Last week I visited with a group who’d read and discussed my book, The Flower Girls. I took so much away from our conversation. I loved how each member began to open up about their own sibling relationships. It was a complete blast for me to be in on that book club. I’ve been invited into the conversations and dynamics of twenty-six groups over the past two years and it simply never grows old.
I’m also still thoroughly enjoying my time with my own book clubs. I rarely miss. The conversations make me feel alive and the connections spur me on in life.
If it wasn’t obvious already, I’m a huge fan of book clubs. And I’m willing to bet I’ll be saying the same thing forty years from now.
Speaking of book clubs, the next three months would be the perfect time for your book club to choose my latest work, The Short & Sincere Life of Ellory James. It’s a shorter read with an emotional element worth talking about. Please let me know if you’d like me to partake in any way. I like to bring gifts, wine, extra books, and behind-the-scenes insight on the book being discussed. {I’ve Skyped with a handful, too, so I’m open to that as well.}

Let’s go clubbing!

Monday, November 9, 2015

This Is 40

Over the weekend I had the rare opportunity to gather with friends to celebrate my fortieth birthday. It was a low-drama, rock-out, memorable night. I realize I’m in the midst of promoting my most recent work, The Short & Sincere Life of Ellory James and I do hope you’ll check it out. But I wanted to take a brief break from promoting in order to express gratitude for the people in my life who’ve encouraged me, inspired me, and allowed me to be fully who I am (which trust me can be scary sometimes...on all levels).





Your friendship, your love matters to me. It changes me.


Thank you.

“She is a friend of my mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order.”
~ Toni Morrison, Beloved

Monday, November 2, 2015

Pub Day for Ellory James

The Short & Sincere Life of Ellory James is now for sale at Amazon. Paperback or ebook. Great choice for book clubs, Christmas gifts, treat-yourself-days, etc.!
Purchase your copy today!

If you fall in love with Ellory & Pete the way that I did, share your thoughts by writing a review on Amazon &/or Goodreads.

What are you waiting for? Ellory is waiting for you to meet her!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Who Would You Want with You?


One week until Pub Date!
I’m so excited for you to read The Short & Sincere Life of Ellory James.
Over the course of the next few weeks I’m going to be asking you TEN bucket list questions.

Curious what your answers are!
Here are the first two…



Feel free to share these to help me stir up interest in my soon-to-release novella!

Monday, October 19, 2015

Bucket List It {Giveaway}


I already know you’re going to love it, but now I’m asking you to list it. From now until December 2nd I want to see social media covered with pictures capturing bucket list experiences.

I’ll choose a winner at random to win the ultimate prize bucket of goods…all related to my novella, THE SHORT & SINCERE LIFE OF ELLORY JAMES, releasing November 2nd.

So, here’s how it works.

Whether you’ve already completed the item on your bucket list or now is the perfect time to do so, get out there and make memories. Post a picture from your life-changing experience on social media + tag me in it, mentioning the upcoming release of Ellory James and you can consider yourself entered.

Post.
Tag.
Mention Ellory.

Simple as that.

While I know there are dozens of wonderful sites to show off your photos, I’m focusing this giveaway via Facebook and Pinterest.

It’s time to BUCKET LIST IT!


More details about uber cool items in giveaway bucket to come! So much to look forward to!


*thanks Emily M. (for you know what).
**If you're not the bucket list type, feel free to share the giveaway details by using the graphic above.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Fall in Love with These Ten Books--Giveaway


I’m ecstatic to announce I’ve joined up with nine talented authors for a not-to-be-missed fall giveaway!


TEN Women’s Fiction titles will be delivered to one lucky winner’s e-reader. Click on the graphic to take you to the entry form. Contest ends October 22! And for all my Canadian and overseas friends – you are invited since this is an electronic giveaway.

Here’s the complete list. Please stop by each author’s website to learn more about us. I know we all appreciate finding new followers for our Facebook and other social media pages, so please join us there as well.

FALL WOMEN’S FICTION GIVEAWAY

The Short & Sincere Life of Ellory James (ebook) – Wendy Paine Miller
Before I Go (ebook) – Colleen Oakley
A Peach of a Pair (ebook) – Kim Boykin
Those Secrets We Keep (ebook) – Emily Liebert
The Good Neighbor (print) – Amy Sue Nathan
Finding Emma (ebook) – Steena Holmes
A Fall of Marigolds (ebook) – Susan Meissner
Rose House (ebook) – Tina Ann Forkner
The Virtues of Oxygen (ebook) – Susan Schoenberger
A Flying Affair (ebook) – Carla Stewart

Ready to enter? Click on the graphic above or here. Best of Luck!

Monday, October 5, 2015

Reflections on Love


For years, my blog bio has stated that I’m trying to “figure out this thing called life and the best way I
know how to do that is to write and to love.” I’ve shared a decent amount about writing over the past 800+ posts.

But what of love?

Every day I learn more about how love can’t be packaged as a feeling. It’s rooted in surrender, service, sacrifice, and supplication. For me, it’s anything but simple.
Here are a few glimpses of how love manifests itself in my life…

Forcing myself to stay awake to chat with my oldest daughter because even though I’m a morning bird, my night owl gets her second wind at 10pm, right when I’m desperate to crawl under the covers and sleep.

Apologizing first.

Letting go.

Committing to the hard path of parenting when it’s tempting to choose the easy route.

Seeking to understand.

Listening when I want to talk.

Driving my kids to activities, taking out the trash, risking intimacy, walking the dog . . .

Noticing—truly noticing and appreciating the season I’m in.

Grasping a vision and affection for all things deemed unlovable or discarded.

Delighting in nature.

Laughing hard.

Experiencing gratitude so deeply it ultimately serves as a motivator.

Responding when a response is called for.

Remaining silent.

Encouraging.

Praying.

Sometimes I do a bang up job when it comes to loving people. Other times, I whiff big time. As with all things, I hope to be forever improving, forever learning.

I’m largely who I am because of how I’ve been loved. My memory is long for those for those who’ve chosen to pour into me. And my life is full.


~ Love quotes that are speaking to me right now ~
“Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” ~ Zora Neale Hurston

“If a thing loves, it is infinite.” ~ William Blake


“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” ~ C. S. Lewis

Monday, September 28, 2015

One More Thing about Nurses


There’s been a lot of talk about nurses lately. After stepping back and witnessing all the scuttle, I
decided I have something to share.

I love nurses.
I’ve been cared for by some of the best.

And I thought I’d take this opportunity to thank a few I’ve encountered specifically. Not necessarily by name. See, because the nurses who’ve helped me were never concerned with me remembering their names. Nope. Their only goal was to aid me to better health. The way I see it, nursing is one of the most altruistic careers to go into.

So, here’s to the nurse in Seattle who cared for me post-surgery sixteen years ago. You were young. You were pregnant. And I’m extremely grateful for the way you normalized the situation I was in. I couldn’t stand or walk with ease. I was ashamed and embarrassed by the way my body reacted to surgery. You made me laugh. You even helped me shower when all hell broke loose and my fiancé was two seconds from walking in the room. You gifted me with the belief that someday I’d be okay again. For that I’ll be forever grateful.

One month later, I danced the night away at my wedding.

Here’s to the nurses who cared for me during labor and after I’d birthed my babies. Again, you gave me play-by-plays. You coached me. You talked me down. You warmed my heart. You gave me confidence, education, and empowerment. Thank you.

Here’s to the pediatric oncologist nurse I recently met with for hours, questioning as I feverishly took notes for a book I’m getting ready to release. You were patient. You were informative. You understood my compassion for my character and the situation she was in. Because you’ve loved patients in the same place. I’m grateful you made the time.

Finally, here’s to my sister, who after years building a career in sports marketing, felt the tug to invest in a new career. You know what it feels like to be blessed with a good bedside manner, suffering through years of chronic pain yourself. You turn around and breathe hope into your patients, you instill kindness with every shot given, every tube changed. You are a silent hero.

Nurses change the world.


Is there a nurse you’d like to thank today?

Monday, September 21, 2015

Just Too Good To Be True


There’s something I’m always subconsciously doing while driving around town. I’m on the prowl. I’m looking for something like this…




That I can turn into something like this…



Because this song plays in my head whenever I see a lonely piece of furniture waiting for a brushstroke and a prayer…




 We both benefit. The furniture item gets a new life. And I experience one cathartic, creative brainstorming session as I transform the project. A win-win.

Do you enjoy working with your hands?



*Thanks to my cool neighbors who gave me the pallet above!

Monday, September 14, 2015

I have a teenager. . .


And for most moms of teenagers, I can pretty much just stop there. Because you know. You get it. I have to seize my moments, making the most of the golden hours when she actually doesn’t seem to mind being around me.

Most of the time I get one or more of any of the following: the infamous eye roll, the talk to the texting hand, the not now groan, the “what?” (Which needs no further explanation because all moms of teenagers heard exactly the pitch I’m referring to while reading that), or nothing at all because she’s been squirreled away up in her room all day.

All normal. All natural.

But that’s what makes what I’m about to share so special.

We had one of those irresistible breakthrough days yesterday.

We slipped into one of my favorite zones—the carefree, cut loose, bond-like-we’ve-never-bonded-before zone.

We went shopping. And the point wasn’t to rack up a whopping credit card bill. Nope. We did find a few things, but we had the most fun acting as ludicrous personal shoppers for one another. We had one rule. The other person must try on everything selected for them. (Images burned into my brain: me in the gold dress and my daughter donning the palm tree sweater.)

My daughter picked out these pants for me to squeeze into.





As a joke, I had her try on this frumpy frump.
  

*she gave me permission to post this pic


Because I’m a rock star.


And we laughed until I nearly split those shiny blue pants.

I savored every single second.

Because I remember when she looked like this…


And I remember when I felt like this…




And moments like what I just described are exactly what I’ll be thinking about the next time she stomps up the stairs telling me I don’t understand anything. 

Monday, August 31, 2015

Wendy Paine Miller 8.0


Why 8.0? This is my eight hundredth post. 800! And since I was never a fan of moving the decimal, or any math for that matter, I’m sticking with 8.0. Eight is my favorite number anyway.

What comes with the 8.0 version of me?

Honesty.

I had no idea what to blog about today. I had a major brain block and for those of you who know me that was no small thing. It rattled me and challenged me to debate if maybe my days of making thoughts move are over. See, unlike decimal points, inspiring you to think is where I’ve found my groove. Those in the publishing industry might dub it something like a brand. Call it whatever you want, but it’s what I love to do. In my novels. On this blog. Even during conversations. (Probably why I’m infatuated with book clubs.)

Thousands of ideas surge through my head throughout the day. I even think in tweets sometimes (I know, scary). But I have to admit, these years of bravely going public as a writer have resulted in a bit of a trippy experience. What to share? What not to share?

Let me explain…in this day and age when people post every stinking photo and status update, documenting their lives in second by second play-by-plays, I get a little freaked out. I begin to wonder if we all start to naively believe we know someone when we’re only sampling one version of that person.

Those makeup tutorials about how to put on concealer on Pinterest have a tendency to weird me out. We’ve all gotten so good at covering up, at photographing our best side, at crafting a tweet-worthy response. My gut tells me it’s only going to get more and more difficult to discern what’s real and what’s not. The natural versus the programmed, rehearsed, and orchestrated.

I’ve made a commitment to be candid here on this blog. But I’ve had so much go on behind the scenes I haven’t opened up about. On purpose. Not because I’m trying to present this Pollyanna falsification of myself, but because life has reminded me in some rather cruel and startling ways how people don’t always have my best interests at heart. There are so many folks online who’ve become like vultures with their opinions, feeding on the risks and failures of others. I share a lot, but I hold a lot back, too. I’ve found that’s what works best for me—helps me to keep my balance and perspective when it’s time for reviews to role in.

So, now to address what this new Wendy 8.0 version will be…

Me, candid…uncensored. It won’t be me trying to check the boxes of what some publishing house is looking for or even what I think my readers need to know (because I’m not a mind reader).

8.0 is going to be the stirrings of my heart, the quiet promptings impossible to ignore. Soul whispers.

I miss Sincerity online lately.

So, I’m bringing her back. Except she has my name. She takes a horrible selfie. She doesn’t follow fads. She cries after reading books like Eleanor & Park. Her heart breaks for family members. Her fury ignites whenever anyone threatens harm against her kids. Forgiveness and grace bleed throughout her entire being—but she wrestles them frequently. She gets pissed. She gets tired. She gets lonely in a crowded room. She’s infected with a passion for writing and stung with compassion whenever she sees a crying woman. She loves.

And she’s now going to stop talking about herself in the third person.


8.0 out.

Monday, August 24, 2015

The Short and Sincere Life of Ellory James

Look what's coming late this October/early November!

The Short & Sincere Life of Ellory James
My latest novella.


Hope you'll love it as much as I do.

More details to come!

Click here to see the cover.
(For some reason blogger isn't letting me upload the cover image.)

*Note: Zoey's 2nd book, The Precarious Hold of Love releases late spring of 2016


Monday, August 17, 2015

Ten Priorities Up On Top


What’s a woman to do when she has five million priorities weighing on her? It’s often difficult to know what to tackle first and in what order. In time, I’ve found that there are a few ways to alleviate the stress related with this time of year.
And I’d love to share what has helped me in the past.
Ten Things to Help You Prioritize
Don’t Get All Dystopian on Your Schedule
I have a tendency to let anxiety creep in if I know there are dozens of things I need to tackle in a short amount of time or, as often happens, I need to get all three kids to activities at the exact same time. My husband likes to tell me not to “run down the path”. It’s his way of reminding me not to freak myself out about what the future holds and that usually the things that need to get done…get done.
Put Your Pants on One Leg at a Time
Don’t overcomplicate things. Sometimes the things you keep insisting have to get accomplished really don’t.
Pray It Out
I’m always amazed at what a little meditative breathing, chat with God, and/or time of reflective surrender does for my mental outlook.
Don’t Be a Train Wreck
Be aware of what’s likely to derail you throughout the day. Is it self-deprecation on steroids? How about the babbling mail carrier? Could it be social media? Or spending more time planning than actually doing?
Time Travel to Gauge Regret
I know, I know, I just told you not to get all dystopian, but what I mean here is to take pause. Evaluate the twenty things on your list and ask yourself to take one giant step in the future. Now, looking back, which things on that list will you regret doing? Or not doing?
Be a Magic Johnson Kind of Point Guard
Had to ask my husband for basketball help on this. Guard points of interest in your life that matter to you outside of the never-ending to-do list. Carve out time to exercise. Block out major distractions. Discern when a maybe-do shows up on the court disguised as a must-do.
Maximize Light Bulb Hours
There are certain times of the day when your brain is sharper than others. Know what time of day your light bulbs go off the most. Accomplish the more involved, mentally involved tasks during these hours.
Blueprint Your Days
I’ll admit it. I still use a planner. Maybe I’m stuck in the 80s. Or maybe I know myself and I’ve discovered there’s something about writing a task down that locks it in my head better. Make goals. Write them down. Stay on target.
Call on the Troops
Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help when needed. You’re bound to be more effective in the areas you’re most called to when you’re willing to involve others. We all bring strengths to the table. Look around. There’s a big table out there.
Whoops—I Call a Do-Over
We’re sort of like cats in this area. We get at least nine do-overs. So what, you were late to carpool. No big deal you forgot to bring dessert to the second grade meet and greet. Oh well, you didn’t cross off everything on your list today.

There’s always regret-free tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

12 Questions to Ask Your Main Character When She Is Being Elusive


I recently came through a spell where one of my characters didn’t want to budge. I knew something was up with her and instead of jamming any issue in her backstory, I waited her out. I asked some hard questions, and eventually, in time, I got to the juicy heart of who she is.
Here are twelve questions you can ask of your main character that have the power to open her up again…

What’s your problem?

Why do you look so tired? (Women, outside of fiction-land, I’d advise you never ask this question of another woman. We are tired. That’s why we look it.)

What are you running from?

What’s the worst thing anyone has ever said to you? (Bonus: do you believe it?)

If you could have a do-over for anything you’ve done in your life when would you choose?

If your friend asks your advice on an outfit that is undeniably weird, saying, “I don’t think this looks weird, what do you think?” how would you respond?

What are you most ashamed of?

What are you proudest of?

Who knows you best? Does your answer surprise you?

Who are you most protective of? Are they as protective of you?

What pisses you off?

What would embarrass you if everyone found out about it, though you secretly suspect you’re not the only one with this secret? 

There you have it. Twelve hard questions that are sure to get your main character squirming, stirred up, or spilling the beans. Hoping for the latter.

 

Taking Time

college applications                 homecoming                            flag football                basketball             SATs   ...