A Word About Risk

I take risks. Always have. I can’t decide if it is part of my genetic wiring or if somewhere along the way I learned really living occurs every moment I’m willing to abandon fear.

Stand at the corner of What do I have to lose? and Is it worth it in the long run? and you’ve set foot at the intersection where my sense of risk-taking and logical thought meet.

Sometimes my risks are calculated. Sometimes they aren’t. I try hard not to operate on feelings alone. Feelings can’t be trusted. However, there’s a golden gut (aka the Holy Spirit) that I choose not to ignore. I pay attention when the golden gut signals to go this way or that.

I also think I’m primed to take risks because I’ve always had a sure sense of the humanness of others. Once you realize, I mean truly understand (get it down in your bones) that everyone is weighted with struggles and vulnerabilities it frees you to be yourself. You’re less apt to act or operate on image, but instead you look to create genuine connections full of laughter and grace.

There are few things in life more freeing than this.

The other night my family went around the dinner table naming our fears. I had to rack my brain to come up with something that scares me. Don’t get me wrong I do have fears, but they didn’t surface quickly. I don’t give them much power or time in my life.

If I were to invent a scientific equation for this post it would be:

Understanding of Vulnerability & Freedom + Lack of Fear = Primed to Take Risks

Do you take risks? If so, why? If not, why not? Do you think risk-taking is part of someone’s genetic wiring? Anything stand out to you about the following quotes?

“What a risk love was. But the riskier the venture and greater the chance of failure, the higher the reward.” –Katrina Kittle, The Blessings of the Animals

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” T.S. Eliot

"If something inside of you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act—truth is always subversive." — Anne Lamott

*photos by flickr

The Me Project by Kathi Lipp

(we interrupt the regularly scheduled Moving Thoughts Friday to introduce you a stellar book from a stellar author)

Kathi Lipp’s book The Me Project: 21 Days to Living the Life You’ve Always Wanted is just what the doctor ordered. In January I poured myself out for others to the point of almost evaporating. Needless to say I’ve been craving something to help me refocus and reenergize in my passion and my calling. Last year I was honored to read and review Kathi’s The Marriage Project. That book positively influenced my marriage. The Me Project inspired me in similar motivating ways.

I enjoyed The Me Project so much I piqued the interest of my friend, the pastor’s wife of our church about how The Me Project would be an excellent selection for the church book club.

Here’s a taste of what the book offers:

Three Super-Simple Kick Starts to Living Your Dreams
– in the next 15 minutes
by Kathi Lipp

Is there a dream that God has given you, but you are waiting until the kids are grown and you have money in the bank before you get started? You may not be able to enroll in a month long pastry making class or take a week off of work to get started on your novel, but today you can take three little baby steps to making your dream a day-to-day reality.

1. Go Public with It

It’s a little scary to tell the world what you want to do when you grow up—but this is one little step could get you closer to living your dream than almost any other. Plus—it takes very little time and you don’t have to raid your kid’s college fund to make it happen. When you gather up all your courage and tell your best friend, “I want to learn how to paint,” suddenly she remembers an old art book she has laying around she would love to give you, or her friend from church who teaches art classes. The people you know and love want to be a resource. Give them the privilege of being a part of making your dream happen.

2. Join an Online Group

This is one of the simplest—and cheapest—ways to start exploring your passion. Find out who else is talking about restoring antiques and listen to their conversation. Start by Googling your interest along with the term “online groups.” You will be amazed with the number of people who want to talk about the proper way to care for 1950’s lunchboxes as much as you do.

3. Don’t be Afraid to Pray

I remember the first time I put an offer in on a house—I wanted it more than I had wanted almost anything else in my life. While I knew that I had dozens of other people praying on my behalf, I was too scared to pray. I didn’t want God to tell me no. I was afraid to pray until my co-worker Kim asked me (in a loving, kind way), why I didn’t believe that God wanted His best for me. Don’t be afraid to pray—as with anything amazing in my life, the path is never what I expected, but it has always been obvious that God’s hand has been on it the whole way.

Good stuff, right?

Let me know what you plan to do to pursue the life you’ve always wanted and your name will be entered into a drawing for a fabulous grand prize giveaway (Deluxe Starbucks Coffee Gift Basket, a $62 value)

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project, serves as food writer for Nickelodeon, and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults. For more information visit her website: www.kathilipp.com

*I received this book in exchange for my honest review

Beneath the Night Tree by Nicole Baart

Baart’s gifted command of language ascends from the page once again as she weaves the continuation of Julia DeSmit’s story. Julia, a single mother who fulfills a motherly role for her younger brother as well, prepares to share her life with one man when an unexpected email throws her vision for her future off course. Julia finds herself on the brink of marriage, but unexpectedly her son’s father slips back into the picture complicating all she’s known about love, forgiveness and trust. The medley of characters, Julia’s grandmother, the two boys and the men competing for Julia’s attention, add to the fast-paced plot of Beneath the Night Tree.

Even though I didn’t read the prior two books in the series, I found Beneath the Night Tree entirely enjoyable. It works well as a stand-alone novel. I found it difficult to put down.

Whenever I read of Baart’s books I’m immediately reeled in by her compelling, lyrical writing.

With lines like the following what’s not to love?

“I could feel the words like water on my tongue, liquid and heavy with all the emotion that sprang from the well of my doubt.”

“He still wore loss like a chain around his neck.”

“A string of unexpected thoughts wound themselves around my heart, binding my chest until it ached to breathe.”

Baart is an adept author, skilled at beautifully balancing plot with prose. Visit her website to read more!

* Tyndale provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for this honest review

**check out my interview with Nicole on the sidebar link

8 Ways the Grocery Store Checkout Resembles the Publishing Journey

I have my entire grocery shopping experience down to twenty-two minutes point four seconds. By that statement alone you should be able to tell I’m not a huge fan of aisle grazing. I charge through grocery stores (unless I’m at Trader Joe’s. There, I take my time).

Recently I started thinking about all the ways standing in line at the grocery store is like the waiting game in the publishing industry.

And now you have the immediate pleasure of reading my thoughts. :D

The Comparison Trap
While standing in line we face the temptation to study how fast the person in line next to us is moving. Is she buying healthy? How much will she spend? Will she give her kid candy when they beg for it? All the equivalents of will she be published before me? Do I believe she’s a better writer and how much has she invested in the process? Will she finally get that editor she’s been contemplating?

To Self Checkout or Not
Somewhere along the writing journey we need to decide whether we’re open to self publishing. Will you wait in potentially long lines or check yourself out? (Some people love to check themselves out…sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Follow the Light
We scan which light comes on so we can hop over to a new aisle with a shorter line. Same goes for watching for new agents and editors who show interest in our genre. We study the trends, faithfully read Writer’s Digest and Publishers Marketplace. (It’s worth it to network on Twitter and through blogs.)

Coupon Central
We put in the work ahead of time (clipping and cutting) hoping it will pay off when it comes to the final sale.

Avert Eyes & Focus on the Prize
Whether its Hollywood gossip or glossy magazines donning stick thin models in swimsuits decorating the checkout aisle, we’re bombarded by similar distractions in this industry. Best-sellers, vampire crazes, this genre rules, this genre is out…we need to write what we’re called to write. Keep our eyes on the prize.

Paper or Plastic?

Every day we make choices about how resourceful we are—how many books about the craft we read, if we seek help from critique partners or editors, etc.

How You Treat the Checker Matters
Relations with agents, editors and fellow authors impact our journey. If we’re courteous and thoughtful, we won’t find our eggs smashed. We won’t have to deal with ripped bags and tumbling groceries upon noticing the heaviest boxes and jars of spaghetti sauce shoved in one.

Dress Etiquette
Performing our duties in our pajamas or sweats isn’t all that unusual. In fact, we might make most surrounding stressed out moms feel more comfortable than if we were dressed to the nines while buying grapefruit. Whatever works, but in this business, while getting the words down it doesn’t matter what we wear.

~~~

Can you think of any more ways checking out at the grocery store resembles the wait in publishing?

*photo by flickr

Sad People Don’t Always Act Sad

I don’t listen to songs like Coldplay’s Fix You anymore to motivate my tears to start flowing. I don’t click through picture after picture of my dad saved in our online files, trying to remember the exact sound of his laugh. I still miss him. I recently booked a flight to be with my mom during the anniversary of his death. I’m fully aware the loss etches deep, but I’m finding (what my mom and I call) my new normal.

I want to share something about his death I neglected to mention before. I want to tell you about those first few moments I arrived at the hospital and I want to do this because I think there’s an important lesson for writers in these minutes of disbelief and coming to terms with personal loss.

Sometimes sad people don’t always act sad.

My dad was hooked up to all kinds of machines in the hospital and my flight had landed last. My other sisters were in his room waiting (all but one, but that’s a whole other story for an entirely different time). I needed to say my good-bye. After thanking some wonderful family friends for picking me up from the airport and driving me to the hospital, I bolted for the entrance. I attempted to mentally erase the name they kept calling their GPS. I had a bone to pick with Bertha (or whatever her name was) because she’d steered us the long way.

My suitcase bumped awkwardly along behind me until I finally left it for the wonderful couple to bring in. My clothes were the last thing on my mind. I had to see my father, brain dead as he was.

As soon as the elevator door opened, I raced in the direction of his room. My mom and my oldest sister caught me in a hug after I walked through the glass doors to the ICU.

Just as I planned to break out in a sprint to my dad’s room, I got held up. We got held up.

A petite lady cornered us. My mom introduced me to this small, leprechaun wife. A member of her church…details…her husband…in the room next to my father…basic introduction kind of details…sunk in about as well as a bobber on the end of an inactive fishing line.

I ached to anchor all my attention on my dad. Here’s where I acted a little weird. I shifted my head from my mom to my sister, then back again to my mom and motioned to the leprechaun wife (who couldn’t have been any more mild-mannered and sweet, but also a great deal in my personal space).

Then I said the unthinkable.

I said, “Say hello to my little friend.” (And yes, I used the accent.)

I did. I did say that. And it sank in with her about as well as a bobber on the end of a fishing line. (She didn’t seem to register my comment—thank God!)

I like this memory. It distracts me from all the heart-wrenching stuff to follow. I like thinking about quoting Scarface to a dainty, dear member of my mom’s church. Not because I’m malicious or because I get my kicks from making inappropriate comments, but rather because I understand I didn’t know how to act any other way. I was in shock. And sometimes shock shows itself in odd ways, disguising itself as humor or sarcasm. I like the memory because it helped get me through the next few minutes—some of the hardest I’ve ever lived.

So writers, remember this when you write a sad scene. People will likely surprise you in their grief, their shock, and their reaction to tragedy.

Tears hide until they know it’s safe to come out. Until then Scarface might just make a mess of the place.

Can you think of a time when you or someone you know felt sad but a surprising emotion showed up instead?

*photo by flickr

Moving Thoughts Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

 

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

At the first heart clenching realization you are stranded on an exotic island alone, what’s the first thing you’d do?

*photos by flickr

**notice the name name for Fridays. Thanks for voting! I may change it up every so often.

The Christian Mama’s Guide to Having a Baby by Erin MacPherson

I’m not pregnant. I promise. (The only babies I’m having from here on out are book babies.) But if I were pregnant I’d want MacPherson’s book.

~~~

In The Christian Mama’s Guide, MacPherson shares a refreshing and honest perspective of what housing a baby in your belly really feels like. Her wisdom is spliced with humorous accounts and a realistic approach to each of the three trimesters.
~~~

MacPherson addresses every possible detail I recall wavering about during my own pregnancies. From choosing a doctor or a midwife, to appropriate exercise, to naming the baby, the extent of her research is evident when it comes to providing insight on the medical world and every other aspect of living with a baby bump. MacPherson even includes a chapter written by dads. But I have to say one of my favorite lines in regards to having sex in the second trimester is, “Get all Song of Solomon on him.”

The Christian Mama’s Guide was a comprehensive, enjoyable read even for this non-pregnant woman. I highly recommend it (a great early baby shower gift). MacPherson brought me down memory lane, a road I gladly travel with sentimental smiles and great fondness.

I loved being pregnant and I love that this book reminded me of each of my pregnancies.

Erin MacPherson lives with her husband and their two adorable children in Austin, Texas. She was an editor and staff writer for a popular parenting and pregnancy Web site for years, where she spent hours each week researching pregnancy, talking to obstetricians and midwives, and giving out tips and advice to new and pregnant mamas. Visit Erin at christianmamasguide.com.


*I received this book in exchange for my honest review

8 Reasons I Love Being a Writer

On this I 8 Wednesday I’m going to continue the conversation of love. It’s all we need, right?

Why I love what I do…

1. I never get bored.



2. I set my own schedule. I can write in the morning. I can write in the night. I can write on a mountain or while flying a kite. (Thanks Dr. Seuss. You were fun!)



3. Writing enables me to grow intellectually as I research and create plots. Reading profusely = education. I’m like good Will Hunting. ;)



4. I get to wordsmith or wordscythe and delight in the results. I’m a puppeteer planting characters on the page and playing origami with my words.



5. Showing up does not require that I’m dressed in anything other than my pajamas.



6. Often when people discover what I do we are led into a delicious conversation about books.



7. It’s a wonderful excuse to over-caffeinate and frequent book stores.



8. As I forge ahead in this industry I teach my children about endurance and discipline, all the while pouring passion into what I love.

Do you love what you do? Tell me more...

*photos by flickr

Play by Play of My Valentine’s Date

Friday Evening

5:00 p.m. I send humorous friend a Direct Message on Twitter. “I’m wearing old man socks under my sexy boots on our date tonight.”

5:30 p.m. Husband returns home and helps pile kids in car to take to church.

6:00 p.m. Drop girls off at church (where they are fed and entertained—a cool ministry our church offers once a month…we certainly appreciate it).

6:15 p.m. Arrive at fun Italian restaurant (two steps up from an Applebee’s. One step down from a place where you pay out the nose).

6:18 p.m. Kindly ask to be reseated. Families and crawling children every which direction. Craved a little more ambiance and shall we say privacy for our Valentine’s dinner.

6:20 p.m. Reseated and settled into conversation with my man.

6:40 p.m. Devouring my lobster ravioli. Discussing where we’d go on pretend vacation and real one. We come up with Greece and camping in the White Mountains respectively.

7:00 p.m. Still yapping away comfortably. Launch into topic of friendships. I name a few of my closest friends reminding my husband of one of my favorite introductions. I met one of my dearest local friends while our kids were trying not to drown during swimming lessons. Somehow we meandered into book talk (somehow, right? That’s funny! It’s my friendship litmus test). We both giggled like second graders when we discovered we share the same favorite book—Peace Like a River.

7:15 p.m. Realize I wore a shirt that clings to my tummy. Not the best idea when you know you plan to eat and eat well. Take only a few bites of the brownie my man ordered.

7:30 p.m. See we have plenty of time before we need to pick up kids. Contemplate places to go. My pomegranate martinis lead me to make the same suggestion I always make at the end of our dates. Where else but Barnes & Noble?

7:45 p.m. Arrive at Barnes & Noble. Feel like I’ve walked into a slice of heaven.

7:47 p.m. Spot Peace Like a River friend and her husband.

7:50 p.m. Walk the store with Peace Like a River friend discussing books, periodically checking on our husbands firmly planted in the historical section.

7:55 p.m. Make a beeline for the new Chris Bohjalian book. Discuss his other bestsellers, The Double Bind and Midwives with PLAR friend.

8:10 p.m. Laugh when we lock eyes with yet another couple from our church doing the B & N date night wrap up.

8:40 p.m. My man surprises me by buying a novel (he’s a smart man).

8:45 p.m. Say goodbye to friends and drive to collect children from church.

Here’s where the play by play stops. ;)

So now you see what communicates love to me, don’t you? Book talk. Book browsing. And books bought. Love is so in the air!

How about you—what communicates love to you?

*Blogger had some issues on Fri. Please vote for new Friday name if you didn’t already get a chance to.
*photo by flickr

Last One Question Friday

No need to panic. Keep reading...

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

I’ve been thinking about a change. My One Question Fridays are calling for something fresh. But here’s my predicament…my voice comes through every single time I ask a question and I’ve been told numerous times not to stop the questions. Also blog traffic is still strong on these days.

So, I’m changing the name. Concept stays. Questions will stay. Heart behind why I do it (to get you thinking about something in a new light) will stay. But it’s time to call Fridays by another name and I need you to vote on it (and of course explain your answer)…

One Seed Fridays
One Spark Fridays
Moving Thought Fridays
Kinetic Fridays

*photos by flickr

Jennie Allen on The Call to Bleed

There are times I stumble across a blog and immediately know I’ve come across a remarkable person. This is how I found my guest today. I welcome Jennie Allen as she joins ~ thoughts that move ~ today with these powerful thoughts…

The Call to Bleed

Cut open. Spread out. Picked through. That's how I feel.

It sounds painful? You're right. It is.

I've always been transparent in my friendships and in my marriage....and then I started a blog, and then I wrote a book. It felt different... it felt out of my control.

I didn't know how else to be. So I did what I always did, I bled out in front of everyone... I cut myself apart and laid myself out, and then I pushed "Publish". But that little blue button did something to me, like the girl who did something stupid at a party and everyone took pictures of her and posted her on Youtube. I kept taking down posts feeling regret, but mostly I didn't want to live so exposed.

At the time of this inner war, I was reading Henri Nouwen. Nouwen was ahead of his time in the way of authenticity, a priest who wrote in the mid 90's. He wrote about his soul and sin and struggles, as if he were writing about what he ate for breakfast. I clung to this quote, not as encouragement, but as my calling,

“it is my growing conviction that my life belongs to others just as much as it belongs to myself, and that what is experienced as most unique often proves to be most solidly embedded in the common condition of being human.”

I had never considered that my life was not mine to own and to hide and wall up and protect. I am not my own. God bought me, and He is the one wanting to cut me up and spread me out and allow others to take what they need for their lives.

It is our call as writers.

We are to be the well. The place where readers come and find a piece of their own soul. The place where they come and see our sin and want to run from their own sin. The place where they come and find comfort in a friend that is worse off than they are. The place they see how to wrestle with the God of the universe. We expose our humanity so that they can see their humanity. As writers we are called to be the ones bleeding out for all to see.... no matter the cost... no matter the pain.

Our lives are not our own, so we write to give them away.

Write on. Bleed on.

You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Jennie Allen’s passion is to make God known through writing and teaching. She graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary with a Masters in Biblical Studies and serves in ministry beside her husband Zac, senior pastor at Austin Bible Church in Austin, Texas. They have three children—Conner 11, Kate 9, and Caroline 5—and are in the process of adopting their youngest son from Rwanda. Thomas Nelson will publish Jennie's first women’s Bible study titled Stuck: The Places We Get Stuck and the God Who Sets Us Free in the fall of 2011 and her first trade book in the spring of 2012.

You Write Like a Statue

I’m not slamming your writing. Really, I’m not. Instead, I’m playing with statues today. I want you to tell me which statue you write most like:

The David

You feel exposed when you write, vulnerable. Your words are on display for all the world to read. Much like David in the Bible, you pen your novel with passion and purpose. Your heart pounds within you as you pour your characters onto the page. Ideas wake you in the morning and tuck you into bed at night. You were made to write. This passion can be misunderstood and judged, but you answer to only One.

The Thinker

You take a long time to ponder your thoughts. No doubt you’re a plotter. A surefire way to know if you resemble The Thinker is by examining whether your WIP causes as much growth in you when you write it as it will for your readers when they devour it. You also hesitate to write from the gut and this frustrates you more often than you’d like to admit. Your novels are like birdbaths, places for your active creative thoughts to cool off and bathe.

Caesar Augustus

You rule over your manuscript, making sure every detail is accurate. Your author platform is imperative in spreading the word about your books. It’s clear after reading your work that you go about constructing stories that appeal more to the head than the heart. Calculated, business savvy and discerning are all words that would readily describe you. You are king of edits.

Lady Justice

You write like Lady Justice if there’s always a message in your work, a moral story. You appreciate instigating thought in your readers—probing them to come to moral conclusions. You long for your readers to evaluate your work as you do, objectively, weighing truth, fairness, justice, and mercy.

Iwo Jima Memorial

Writing is not only a battle for you, it’s a war. You have to put on armor as you sit to write, forging through the disparaging self-talk, abundance of adverbs and muddy indecipherable meaning of your WIP. But you’re determined, girded with resilience and belief in your calling. Critique partners, agents and editors may surround you to help you plant your manuscript where it needs to be. As you lift your head to see the symbol of your endurance, you are encouraged to fight on.

Discobolus (Discus thrower)

Writing is a sport for you. You’re in position to throw your work out there. You’ve put in the hours (perhaps years) training and now it’s time to let it go. You fling your words to the wind just to see how far they’ll fly.

So tell me, which statue describes you?

*photos by flickr

One Question Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

What’s not funny (that joke, TV show, biting remark, etc.)?

*photos by flickr

A Year with God: Daily Readings and Reflections on God’s Own Words

There’s nothing like being in the Word. In his devotional, R.P. Nettelhorst invites readers to reflect on Old Testament Scripture. I appreciate how A Year with God isn’t dated so I felt like I could pick it up at any point. Because the book is arranged by topics, such as loyalty and betrayal and companionship and isolation, I felt an added convenience to dive in at the reflection of my choosing. The use of different Bible translations added to my understanding of certain Scriptures. I’ve read numerous devotions and I found this one, with its 365 responses to the Word, educational and probing of my faith.

I’d recommend it to someone who desires to dig deeper in the Old Testament, someone who appreciates living in a way that is open to conviction, instruction and encouragement (in the true meaning of the word).

*I received my copy of A Year with God as a member of Booksneeze and in exchange for this honest review

8 Things I’d Say to 30-year-old Me

You are going through one of the hardest trials of your life, but hang on for the blessing. You are on the brink of being blessed with a beautiful gift. Wrestle it out and hang on.

You’re learning more about friendship, how genuine and thoughtful women can be working toward a common purpose as you lead the MOMS group at church.

Yes, you will always look tired until about 10:00 a.m. Even after you have newborns, you’ll still feel wide awake early in the morning, but you’ll never look it.

You are a couple years away from discovering Facebook and it will baffle you how you could connect with so many from your past, those from all the places you’ve lived. But this is merely the beginning of many friendships you’ll discover online.

There will come a day when there are no more diapers to change. And oddly enough, you’ll miss it. Only a little, but you will.

Things you say to your father will mean more to you in a few years. Life is short. Choose your words carefully.

Your man’s company will ask you to move again in a less than two years and yes, you will be nine months pregnant (again!).

Breaking through the hardship, you will feel closer to God than ever before and realize the depth of His love for you. You’ll become bolder about sharing your story (you’ll also love to seek out stories) and the impact of His love on your life. You’ll surprise yourself how unafraid you’ll be!

What would you say to 30-year-old you?