Something happened yesterday that royally pissed me off.
During an away game one of our soccer players fell to the ground injured.
Immediately the parents for the opposing team launched an aggressive attack
against the ref and his “poor” call after giving us a free kick. Their
screaming escalated and was, in my opinion, beyond classless. Our
player lie writhing in pain only feet from these parents and they had the audacity
to spew about what they believed was an unfair call. Let me shed a little more
light on the situation. The ref had made a few questionable calls during the
game so far—this was not one of them. Also, the injury didn’t occur during a
breakaway. And our player has to get an X-ray for what could be broken fingers.
I seriously kept thinking is this how it’s going to be—the world
my kids are going to live in? I think this a lot and it tends to freak me out.
I have to mollify myself with the whole be
the change self-talk. I maintained self-control and I’m proud of that
because every muscle in my body was ordering me to go off on those parents.
Instead I took a little walk and breathed.
You could say I was just a tad angry. Rightfully so.
There are plenty of times in life we should be angry. It’s
the most appropriate response to injustices we see around us. Someone once told
me the things that trigger the most anger in us are signposts, informing us of
the issues where we’re most impassioned and positioned to respond—to inflict
Here’s where the writing part comes in. I understand the
argument for writing sound, for dealing with your emotions before you tap out
the first word so your work will be coherent and well-punctuated.
I say write hot. Three reasons why I stand by this . . .
When you write angry your passion will be evident in your
words—it will seep into every sentence. People will feel that passion and latch
onto it. It’ll create emotion in others. Your anger will present people with a
choice. Your work will hold up a sign that says I care about this. Will you?
The Geyser Inside
Sometimes you don’t know how strongly you feel about a
subject until you begin exploring your feelings on the page. Writing is an
optimal way to unleash these untapped emotions. It’s incredible what your
impassioned indignation may look like when it’s finally free to spread out and
find a home on the page. No matter what it looks like, I guarantee it will
demand attention. It also has the potential to introduce you to an assortment
of other things you had no idea you were feeling. Hello, geyser inside.
I didn’t know the parents from my team were bothered by the embarrassing
actions of the parents from the other team until I took my little calming walk.
It’s then that I heard the comments. Guess what? They were fuming mad too. It’s
exactly for this reason that writing hot is important. When you write angry you
have the potential to create powerful empathy. You motivate others to care and
move to action. You connect with readers.
*All this to say I’ve noticed people seem to get angry at
the slightest things anymore. Then they spew like crazy with little
self-control. Let’s get angry when anger is merited. Then, let’s follow Toni
Morrison’s example. “I get angry about things, then go on and work.”
I’m more than a little slammed right now with
self-imposed deadlines and life in general. Still, I wanted to inspire you in
some small way today. The following three quotes speak to me.
Hoping they will speak
to you today.
of love is in the loving—it is not in the result of loving.”
“Hope is not about proving anything. It's about
choosing to believe this one thing, that love is bigger than any grim, bleak
shit anyone can throw at us.” ―Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
“Teach them the quiet words of kindness, to live
beyond themselves. Urge them toward excellence, drive them toward gentleness,
pull them deep into yourself, pull them upward toward manhood, but softly like
an angel arranging clouds. Let your spirit move through them softly.” ―Pat
Conroy, The Prince of Tides