A Word about Quitting

Why can’t I be more of a quitter? There are days I really want to desert this road to publication. The

temptation to bail hits me hard. I convince myself I’m not cut out for the life of a writer.

Things get particularly daunting when I have to make the difficult decision to move on from an agent, or a close friend receives a drool-worthy offer, or I read my stuff and seriously consider shredding it and feeding it to the dog.

Eventually, a powerful message rises to the surface and riptides my thoughts.

You aren’t a soccer player but you are a writer.

Now, if you’ve visited my blog much, you know I’m far from a mathematician and you might be scratching your head trying to work out the logic behind what I just wrote. There isn’t an A + B = X (or whatever) equation that makes sense of the soccer player/writer sentence. There’s just life.

Let me explain.

I played travel soccer for my entire childhood. I was a teenager when I made the spontaneous decision to quit playing. I loved soccer. I still love the sport and have a blast cheering on my kids when they play. I can honestly say quitting soccer is one of the few regrets I have in life—regret squared because I quit for the wrong reasons.

I took my eyes off of the most important thing—my experience with the sport. I stopped playing because my older sister was better. I’m not making this up. She really was. She was All-American, met Pele, got a full ride scholarship for her skills, and eventually went on to play against Mia Hamm in college. She was a soccer rock star. I was solid. And I should have stuck with it. For the love of the sport. Sometimes I wonder what would have been. . .

Fast forward several decades and you have me, a writer, fiercely dedicated to my craft, though still facing that familiar temptation to bow out. It’s so easy to get sidetracked, believing others are better, garnering more attention, that they have something I don’t. They do have something I don’t. And I have something they don’t. The stories inside me. In the way that only I can tell them.

Right at the moment when I feel like the biggest writer schmuck on the planet, I tend to find some humor-filled way to immerse myself in my current project. I coach myself in Star Wars talk, “Stay on target” or I Church Lady-myself until I get in my word count, remembering all of the positive affirmations that I’ve encountered along this Yellow Brick Road (paved with flying monkey poop…it’s funny to me. Writers have a bit of an absurd and well-timed ability to entertain ourselves. We’re alone a lot…it’s part of the gig).

And when the humor wears off and the word count is complete and I’m left with my Tilt-A-Whirl brain, I’m met with a choice. Day in. And day out. Ride the self-doubts? Or hop off so I can get busy doing what I love?

I decide. Every day I decide.

I’m not a soccer player. But I am a writer.

*Pic is of me in my glory soccer days. P.S. It was the 80s. That’s how everyone wore their shorts! ;-)

#DelicateLove Giveaway

Shaking it up around here. I’m not asking you to do the usual tweeting, facebooking, yodeling from the mountaintops about my latest novel, THE DELICATE NATURE OF LOVE for a chance to win a super cool giveaway.

Instead, I’m asking you to dig deep—to remember a time in your life when someone’s influence on you made a permanent impact.

 

I want you to capture the impression this person had on you in a very specific and creative way via social media. To create a mini-dedication.

A few “rules” to win:

1.  Keep it brief. The goal is to evoke emotion in as few words as possible—to help us to understand why you’re changed because of this person. Be imaginative.

2.  You must add #delicatelove wherever you decide to post.

3.  You need to attach my cover somewhere to your story. If you’d like and if room allows, you’re welcome to provide a more detailed explanation for what you’ve written/come up with.

 

Four Places to list your mini #delicatelove gratitude reflections à

In the comments of this post

On Facebook (make sure to include a picture of my cover, #delicatelove & try to tag me if at all possible—at the very least notify me that you’ve posted something to enter)

On Twitter

On Pinterest

 

I will compile responses on March 17th, and then consult a select group of trustworthy folk to let me know which story moved them the most. When I get a unanimous vote, I’ll announce the winner here on March 18, 2015.

Hear that? You have two weeks to creatively express a mini-dedication to the person who changed your life forever...for a chance to win the #delicatelove giveaway.

Have at it!

You’re all considered winners in my book (especially those dedicated to inspiring others)!

 

 

*Heads up, I might repost, retweet, or recycle what you’ve written if it moves me. Keep this in mind if what you’re creating is more of a private reflection.

**If you see me posting, it’s not to win. Only having fun with the contest myself & hoping to provide examples.

The Story for You…

In a little over a month my novella releases out into this world.

It seems like the ideal time to share my story.

Today I’m dedicating this song to you.

“All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I’ve been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don’t mean anything

When you’ve got no one to tell them to

It’s true. . . ”

Thanks for reading!

*Here is the original if you’d like to listen longer or how want to hear a different version

Top Ten Joy Stealers for Writers

If you’ve been writing long enough I don’t have to expound upon the following joy stealers much. You know them and you know them well. Writing is not for the feeble, the quick quitters or the wishy-washy. 

Writing is for those with malleable hearts, insatiable curiosities, and ironclad resolve.

Because there are joy stealers lurking and ready to rob you from the unexplainable joy writing can inspire.

And they are…

Disillusionment

When you hold up the picture of what you thought the writing life would look like and it doesn’t even vaguely resemble what writing actually is.

Distraction Deluge

When life hits you with a bombardment of commitments and you’re squeezed dry of time and energy.

Disbelief

Somewhere along the way you lost the majestic wonder that motivated you when you began writing. The confidence and belief that you were meant for this shrinks to the size of a mustard seed. (Hmm…a mustard seed.)

Dry Spell

Ideas disappear into thin air like genie smoke, triggering a season of drought. You find yourself flirting with the belief you were wrong and that you’re ideas won’t ever grow green and vibrant again.

Daggers

Criticism comes your way without a shred of anything constructive in it.

Derelict Characters

You’ve gotten so caught up in the story you’ve forgotten who’s writing who. Until one day your characters rebel and attempt to throw you entirely off course. Worse than a rabbit trail, this is a career direction detonator. (A key time to listen because characters always have something interesting to teach us, but ultimately to also remember whose boss.)

Deceptive Deathblow

Rejections, people who promised to be you’re biggest support but who fail to meet your expectations, the love of writing shriveling like embers turned to ash. Somewhere along the way you mistakenly substituted love of craft for so many other seductive loves—approval, acceptance, validation, timing, attention, etc.

Deadline Drift

Date looming and your mind draws a big fat blank. You feel like you’re writing for the man. A machine. The romanticism of the craft is stripped away.

Dead end Delusion

With writing there is no end in sight. It’s all about exploration and learning and discovery. But there’s nothing like the publishing industry to fool a writer into entertaining these familiar thoughts:

“I’ll be happy when…

I finish my novel

I get an agent

a house buys my book

I see my book in print

or my formatting is done for e-book

I meet my sales goals

I sell another book…”

& so the dance begins again.

Debilitating Doubt

I can’t. Therefore I won’t.

 On the flip side, Joy Planters are:

Dedication

Commitment to write through the highs and lows.

Determination

A “I’ll write no matter what I feel” attitude that presents opportunities for you to learn far more about yourself during the process than at the outcome.

Decision

Because it always comes back to choice.

You have a choice in this. Freedom to keep at it or to chuck the whole thing.

As for me and my mouse (bad computer humor), we will surf the lore.

What have you found to be a joy stealer during your writing journey? And a joy planter?

*photo by stock.XCHNG

  

Thrive or Whittle Away

Ever wonder if some people are born with a tenacity gene? Not going to dive into the whole nature vs. nurture debate with you here today. Instead, I’m throwing out eight specific questions I don’t doubt all tenacious souls make a point of asking themselves at various stages throughout their journey albeit maybe on a subconscious level. At any given moment we are thriving or whittling away, no matter the commitment.

There really is a time for everything.

Questions to help you decide whether you’re being called to thrive or whittle away…

~What am I willing to sacrifice to accomplish this?

~Who is gaining from this? If the answer is me alone, is it worth it?

~Do I receive any joy in this or from this?

~Is this commitment changing me in a positive or healthy way? Am I growing?

~Am I able to accurately identify my strengths and weaknesses involving this?

~Have I sought accountability in order to continue improving in this?

~Is there fruit? Am I making a difference with this specific commitment? (If the answer is no or doubtful, am I flexible and willing to make a change?)

~Will I be able to look back years from now and be grateful for the time I spent on this?

There you have it. Eight to tuck in your pocket and pull out when you feel like doing a little reflecting about how you’re spending your seconds here on earth.

Any surprise you? Is there any one question that seemed to strike you in particular today?

*photos by stock.XCHNG