The Art of Entertaining Distractions

I’ve gone through seasons of life when I’ve remained laser-focused. I’ve written a novel in a month and turned moving into a job, filling journals with To-Do Lists. In time I’ve discovered I have tenacity of steel.

However, I think it’s also important to share that I’ve wallowed in seasons of distraction (excuse me as I just took the dog out). Whether it’s getting hooked on Breaking Bad on Netflix (a few years late . . . never been one to follow trends) or intimately swept up in all of the details it takes to make a house a home, I’m most vulnerable to get sidetracked when I stop asking myself what matters most.

When it comes to health and family I’ve made a commitment to allot for distractions. Within reason. Someone begging me to inside-out (10 year old code for turn inside out) their socks for soccer doesn’t always constitute an immediate response from me. I’m learning the art of filtering legitimate right here, right now needs from I kinda want it so would you do it for me wants. If I didn’t do this I’m afraid an essential part of me would slowly slip away.

The best way for me to filter—for me to decide if something actually needs my focus is to always come back to that one question—what matters most?

Often cleaning will get pushed off a day. Some conversations will be delayed. Tasks on my To-Do List will not get crossed off.

All of this is okay.

Because I’m intentionally pouring into what matters most.

Some days that’ll be inside outing socks. Some days it’ll be crying during another episode of Breaking Bad because the characters feel strangely familiar and the show provides a great outlet for me to release decade-old hurt nesting inside. Some days it’ll be to listen to my daughter’s latest struggles. And other days it’ll be to write up a storm. 

The School of Life: Seven Powerful Lessons I Hope to Impress Upon My Girls

School is back in session next week. My girls will get their heads jammed full of all kinds of knowledge. However, there are some lessons I hope I’m instilling in each of them on a day-to-day basis. I thought I’d share seven with you today.

The Value in Investing in Something Greater than Yourself

Whether it’s by signing up for a Love 146 walk, collecting winter wear for the homeless, or making regular trips to Goodwill, I want my kids to see me making sacrifices for others.

Resiliency is Character-Building

Life knocks us down. People knock us down. We do well enough knocking ourselves down. The key is getting back up. It’s during the process of shaking off the dust that we begin to understand what we’re made of.

Creativity during Life’s Waits

I’m fairly certain 94.279387594375 % of life is spent waiting for something. Case in point, here is a little play-by-play of my “wait” list. Grow up. Get my period (yeah, what was I excited about on that one?), first kiss, boyfriend (wait, isn’t that backwards?), graduate, college, first place, job that suits me, marry, have babies, discover my calling (my life seems a tad out of order), see the fruit of that discovery grow to its full potential (still waiting). See where I’m coming from? And I didn’t even mention lines at the grocery store or Marshalls.

I do something earthshattering while I’m waiting in line with my girls. I ask them questions…we talk.

Kindness Trumps Argumentativeness, Hubris, or Inaction

Trust me, there are times I feel like Venus Flytrapping some people. When I witness road rage. Entitlement. Flat out ignorance or selfishness. Yep, want to swallow those suckers whole only to spit them out in a sewage plant. However, it’s a good practice, when tempted to practice kindness. Not fakeness. Not flattery. But a moment of slipping out of my own thoughts and attempting to enter theirs. Then doing something (albeit oftentimes small) about it.

Discipline

I’ve written eleven novels in less than seven years. That alone is enough to send the message I’m serious. That I’m invested. My girls see what I give up in order to devote time to writing. Little spies…they see everything.

Tenacity

Where passion lives, get tenacious. That’s the message I hope computes. Also, don’t give up easily. Become resourceful. When the time calls, speak up. Be a voice that’s not only heard, it’s heeded.

The Beauty of Empathy

I’m one of those people who has a horrible time remaining in my chair if I see someone crying across the room. Could be a complete stranger in tears. I have to fight not to leap toward them and smother them in a hug. Backing off from this a tad, I hope I’m teaching my girls to take risks with this one. To ask someone who’s crying if they’re okay. To stick up for a kid being picked on during recess. To go out of their way to the point where it feels a little uncomfortable in order to let someone else know they matter.

 

There are many other messages I’d love to know my kids are receiving, that are becoming a part of how they perceive their role in this world. But these are the biggies I wanted to share with you today.

Have you ever given thought to what your kids are learning outside of school?

 

Thrive or Whittle Away

Ever wonder if some people are born with a tenacity gene? Not going to dive into the whole nature vs. nurture debate with you here today. Instead, I’m throwing out eight specific questions I don’t doubt all tenacious souls make a point of asking themselves at various stages throughout their journey albeit maybe on a subconscious level. At any given moment we are thriving or whittling away, no matter the commitment.

There really is a time for everything.

Questions to help you decide whether you’re being called to thrive or whittle away…

~What am I willing to sacrifice to accomplish this?

~Who is gaining from this? If the answer is me alone, is it worth it?

~Do I receive any joy in this or from this?

~Is this commitment changing me in a positive or healthy way? Am I growing?

~Am I able to accurately identify my strengths and weaknesses involving this?

~Have I sought accountability in order to continue improving in this?

~Is there fruit? Am I making a difference with this specific commitment? (If the answer is no or doubtful, am I flexible and willing to make a change?)

~Will I be able to look back years from now and be grateful for the time I spent on this?

There you have it. Eight to tuck in your pocket and pull out when you feel like doing a little reflecting about how you’re spending your seconds here on earth.

Any surprise you? Is there any one question that seemed to strike you in particular today?

*photos by stock.XCHNG