Writing through the Chaos

When I was a kid I begged my mom to drive me to a neighboring town so I could audition to be a tightrope walker. She refused. Hmm…wonder why? I suppose it makes sense to me now that she had reservations about me joining the circus.

I’ve identified a good deal with a tightrope walker in my writing life lately. Major life events, as well as plenty of routine day-to-day demands swirl all around me as I work hard to maintain my focus. I decided to take a step back and assess what helps me to stay in line with my target goals and what presents the greatest distraction.

The following are six strategies that have kept me committed to writing and my writing goals during times of upheaval.

When life’s a circus . . .

I remind myself to breathe fire

Writing is a proven stress relief for me. I allow this mantra to echo in my mind as a reminder of what good it’ll do me to take some time to peck out a few thousand words. It calms my nerves, slows my heart rate, and has a magical way of putting my mind at ease. Breathe fire. Let out the stress.

I make things disappear

I poof the expectation I have to make a meal everyone will enjoy every night or vamoose the lunch appointment with that individual who has mastered the art of sucking the best out of me. I’m a magician when it comes to my schedule, keeping committed to only the things of utmost priority and making all the rest disappear.

I periodically look back with respect at the elephants in line behind me

I view this in two ways. There are times I need to reflect upon just how far my discipline has gotten me. Also, looking back at the elephants behind me is another way of telling myself other authors—great masters of discipline—have done this before—climbed these steps, kicked up to great heights. I’m inspired to keep at it when I remember to look back.

I clown around

When I’m in the midst of a chaotic life change, I make sure to seek out laughter. It’s a reward. Whether plotting a novel or drafting a key scene, I find creative avenues that are sure to spark laughter in me. It’s part of clinging to my sanity. And it’s just a fun way to live.

I’m okay if a few plates fall

I’ve learned the incredible freedom that comes with granting myself some grace. Plates will topple. It’s part of it. The key is to not obsess over what’s broken on the ground and to keep my eyes on what’s amazing above. I may not reach my word count. Or a kid might not get their favorite things in their lunch bag. The world will go on spinning.

I grab on to hands that are reaching out

One thing more than any other indicates where I land on the pride meter. Am I able to grasp on to others when they’re offering help or am I stubbornly insistent on doing it all myself? Flinging myself through times of turmoil without reaching for and hanging on to the help offered is a futile undertaking, a surefire way to run myself ragged.

Life is a circus right now. I want to be intentional about what I love. I want to write through the chaos.

The School of Life: Seven Powerful Lessons I Hope to Impress Upon My Girls

School is back in session next week. My girls will get their heads jammed full of all kinds of knowledge. However, there are some lessons I hope I’m instilling in each of them on a day-to-day basis. I thought I’d share seven with you today.

The Value in Investing in Something Greater than Yourself

Whether it’s by signing up for a Love 146 walk, collecting winter wear for the homeless, or making regular trips to Goodwill, I want my kids to see me making sacrifices for others.

Resiliency is Character-Building

Life knocks us down. People knock us down. We do well enough knocking ourselves down. The key is getting back up. It’s during the process of shaking off the dust that we begin to understand what we’re made of.

Creativity during Life’s Waits

I’m fairly certain 94.279387594375 % of life is spent waiting for something. Case in point, here is a little play-by-play of my “wait” list. Grow up. Get my period (yeah, what was I excited about on that one?), first kiss, boyfriend (wait, isn’t that backwards?), graduate, college, first place, job that suits me, marry, have babies, discover my calling (my life seems a tad out of order), see the fruit of that discovery grow to its full potential (still waiting). See where I’m coming from? And I didn’t even mention lines at the grocery store or Marshalls.

I do something earthshattering while I’m waiting in line with my girls. I ask them questions…we talk.

Kindness Trumps Argumentativeness, Hubris, or Inaction

Trust me, there are times I feel like Venus Flytrapping some people. When I witness road rage. Entitlement. Flat out ignorance or selfishness. Yep, want to swallow those suckers whole only to spit them out in a sewage plant. However, it’s a good practice, when tempted to practice kindness. Not fakeness. Not flattery. But a moment of slipping out of my own thoughts and attempting to enter theirs. Then doing something (albeit oftentimes small) about it.

Discipline

I’ve written eleven novels in less than seven years. That alone is enough to send the message I’m serious. That I’m invested. My girls see what I give up in order to devote time to writing. Little spies…they see everything.

Tenacity

Where passion lives, get tenacious. That’s the message I hope computes. Also, don’t give up easily. Become resourceful. When the time calls, speak up. Be a voice that’s not only heard, it’s heeded.

The Beauty of Empathy

I’m one of those people who has a horrible time remaining in my chair if I see someone crying across the room. Could be a complete stranger in tears. I have to fight not to leap toward them and smother them in a hug. Backing off from this a tad, I hope I’m teaching my girls to take risks with this one. To ask someone who’s crying if they’re okay. To stick up for a kid being picked on during recess. To go out of their way to the point where it feels a little uncomfortable in order to let someone else know they matter.

 

There are many other messages I’d love to know my kids are receiving, that are becoming a part of how they perceive their role in this world. But these are the biggies I wanted to share with you today.

Have you ever given thought to what your kids are learning outside of school?