10 Ways to Fry Your System

I wanted to share a few ways I’ve figured out how to fry my system. They’re tried and true. Trust me,

have a go at these and you’ll be stressed to the limit in no time.

You are welcome.

The 10…

Expect Perfection from Yourself & Others

I’m not a perfectionist, but I find it’s the moments when I demand perfection from myself or others that I am quickly disappointed. Push yourself, yes. Help others to know what you value and expect. But also leave room for imperfections. Sometimes those allow for the most effective and life-impacting growth.

Consume Too Much & Sit All the Livelong Day

I combined these two into one because they are sort of a gimme. And they’re covered in every health magazine every single issue. Overindulgence of food or drink (especially on a regular basis and not just when you wedding crash or celebrate a big birthday) is guaranteed to leave you with little energy to spare. Lack of exercise will turn your body to jelly and it won’t just hurt to climb the stairs, it’ll hurt to walk from one room to the next. Think, no one wants to carry you through life. Better to carry yourself with strength.

Forget to Laugh

Take yourself too seriously. Go ahead, try it. See how it works for you. I really believe laughter is one of the greatest medicines known to man. It often accompanies humility and perspective. They’re a mighty fine threesome.

Go Hard All Day & Night

I have this tricky thing that’s been happening with me lately. I’ve been doing some insane plotting and writing in my sleep. Wonderful, you say. Double duty, you think. To which I respond, no--emphatic no. I can personally attest to the fact that burning the candle at both ends like this compromises my peak brain function during the daytime hours. Go hard, yes. But structure hours for this. No human is meant to mimic a fake pink bunny playing the drums twenty-four-seven.

Entertain Negative Thoughts

Wallow in them. Believe every lie at its core. Marinate in the absurd, the outlandish and the malicious. Have a party for these thoughts and watch for yourself how they’ll trash your place and leave it a bloody mess.

Invite Worry into Every Relationship & Scenario

Moms have a secret oath we agree to the second our babies leave our bodies. Somewhere inside us we buy into the misguided notion if we worry we can sway the circumstances or the end results. Given this one is born from a strong sense of caring, you don’t need me to tell you worry is a magnificent timewaster. I’ve allowed hours to tick by when I’ve worked myself into a tizzy about four hundred devastating potentials only to be mocked when not a single one of my imagined scenarios plays out. How’s that for quality time management?

Answer to Everybody but Yourself

Pull an Igor and make everyone else in charge of your life. Become a people pleaser with little sense of pride. Great way to lose a solid sense of yourself. And tire yourself out faster than I can say, “Yes, Master.”

Become a Slave to Technology

Better yet let the Internet, your phone, or social media own your day. Whew, I’m wiped out just thinking about trying to keep up with the ever-changing scope of online communication.

Be Afraid of Changing a Routine or Life Pattern

Something’s not working? Stay the course, the exact same course you’ve been running hard at for five years. Then again, you could always take a risk. Mix things up. Learn to breathe again by stepping out.

Believe Doctor Visits Are for Sissies

A few months ago a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. She could have blown off her cough. I know I have a tendency to put off a call to my doctor, convincing myself that everyone in my family (and the entire world) come before me. I’m so thankful my friend made that doctor’s appointment because she gave herself the chance to fight beautifully and that’s exactly what she’s been doing. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more joyful person.

I know you can’t wait to go try some of these. I won’t keep you. Go for it. What have you got to lose? Oh, that’s right. Your health, energy, strength, stamina…and so much more.

What runs you down the quickest?

*Bonus, just for giggles overbook your schedule and over-commit yourself. C’mon, you know you want to. ;-)

8 Ways to Organize Your Brain

In this social media age, when we’re bombarded with one distraction after another, it’s imperative to step back every so often to clean out the clutter we’ve accumulated like ravaging, time-sucking dust bunnies inside our brains.

Does your brain need an organization overhaul?

Stop Being So Polite to Distractions

Welcome, Facebook, here’s all my time. Do with it what you will.

Oh, it’s you, come on in TV show that will extinguish that spark trying desperately to ignite.

Hello, rambling neighbor, yes I’ll engage in forty meaningless minutes of non-conversation as I listen to your gossip about your mother’s uncle. Sure, why not.

Downsize the Worry Quadrant

“But what if,” you’ve been moved to the cerebral office with no windows, no computer, and minimal interaction with coworkers. Oh, and lights out all day. Saving energy.

Don’t Starve Creativity

Example of starving creativity: Glimmering inspirational idea that scurries to the corner whenever I open the door and light streams in full of hope and promise, no soup for you.

Take out the Trash

Negative self-talk, haunting lies from the past, discouraging phrases stuck between lobe one and lobe two—be gone!

Place Priority Items on the Highest Cranial Shelf

Assess what you value most and evaluate whether you’re dolling out enough time and resources to these top priorities. Make it so you can see them at all times—visual reminder.

Goal-Set a Cerebral Table

Establish attainable, focused tasks you’d like to accomplish. Write them in chalk on the canvas of your noggin’. Check in from time to time to evaluate if your centerpiece is the focal point of all you’ve set on the table.

Hang an Encouraging Sign (a mantra if you will) on the Strongest Sensory Point

We all need regular reminders of what’s important. If your reminder is imprinted on an impressionable sensory receptor—imagine the possibilities!

Trade Multi-tasked Mindjumper Mentality for Fully Focused Engaged Experiencer

One of my favorite lines from Dead Poets Society is when Robin Williams quotes Thoreau with wanting to “suck the marrow out of life.” We can do this, we can suck the marrow out of life or we can sip, sip, sip never ingesting the deep goodness that only comes from full engagement. Make your brain freeze, people!

Can you think of any other methods of brain organization at its best?

*photo by stock.XCHNG

What Women Want—Security

Dark alleys, leering stares, gossipy rumors, circled fat, salmonella poisoning, terrorist attacks, rapists, murderers, abusers, molesters, cultures that devalue women, risk of having Alzheimer’s, child getting Lyme disease, genocide, female mutilation, the sex trade, child getting West Nile virus, gangs, child developing Autism, mafia, house catching on fire, disease ravaging our bodies, kidnappers, exploited on social networking sites, Big Brother, germs, spiritual warfare, noises in the woods, getting lost…

This is an incomplete list of what we fear. Barely scratching the surface with those.

I took your comments from Friday’s post titled, “What DoWomen Want” and found the most prevalent answer kept focusing on security. Based on your input it became obvious—women want to feel safe.

Time for a little psychology 101. Did you know that on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs pyramid the need listed just above our basic physiological needs being met (hunger, sleep, etc.) is safety?

What threatens our safety as women—what weakens our ability to feel secure?

Besides the very real danger some men present, and even some women offenders, our greatest opposition when we’re fighting to feel safe is oftentimes our own fear.

Women are masterminds at worrying. Michael Hyatt wrote a thought-provoking post about how worry and imagination are like two sides of the same coin and he also highlights the profound differences between the two.

I wonder if some of us cry wolf in particular scenarios so habitually that we play out, in twisted strokes of misfortune, our own self-fulfilling prophesy. We imagine ourselves to death. There are proven statistics detailing how much damage stress can do to the body.

All this to say there’s no denying horrific events occur every second. The world can go dark in a flash. Our fears are grounded in glimpses of reality.

There’s a book every woman would benefit from reading called, The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. The book helps educate women about the difference between true fear and unwarranted fear. I’ve reflected on this book numerous times when I’ve faced potentially precarious situations.

Because I love advocating for women I’m wrapping up today’s post with a list of things that contribute to women feeling safe.

Knowledge

Statistics, resources, places to go for help, the unlikelihood of acquiring said disease or having our child kidnapped can diffuse the firestorm of worry that explodes in our minds. Understanding what we need to focus on helps us let go of all of the extraneous weight on our shoulders.

Strength in Numbers

Women, we are such a phenomenal and valuable resource for one another. We’d benefit beyond belief by uplifting and encouraging one another in lieu of playing competitive, jealousy-based games.

Perspective

Every so often repeat these two words: Reality check. One of the best ways to face down our fears is to gain a sense of perspective.

Honesty

One of hardest, but most important ones. Truth really does set us free. You are not alone. And you need not stay stuck.

Empowerment

Martial arts, yoga, kickboxing classes, schooling, learning to read, speaking out on behalf of women, telling the truth, writing stories  communicating issues and themes important to women, volunteering, giving, giving, giving.

Hope & Faith

This one goes deep for me. My way of viewing the world changed drastically when I understood for the first time this is not my home. And as hope flaps its wings inside me I embrace and live in the truth that nothing can stop me. Including fear.

What makes you feel secure? Insecure? Are you able to turn worry into creative and positive visualizing?

*photo by stock.XCHNG

 

 

Enjoy Life

“Enjoy life.”

Two words. Instructions given to me by my agent (aka momentary life coach) recently. Easy enough to digest, right? To heed every waking moment…maybe not so much.

I’ve already confessed to you my keen ability to turn thoughts over in my mind with intensity that rivals Uncle Bob’s best cracklin’ producing pig roast. A simple “I like your shirt” can get dissected more than Freddy the frog with his pinned arms and legs splayed out on a 7^th grade science table reeking of formaldehyde.

I grasp worries about the future as though they’re a dog I’m running to catch up with on a leash. Conversely, I scoop up reflections of the past as though they’re that same dog’s droppings. Stuck carrying them with me more often than I’d like, for longer than I’d like. My frolicking imagination (active thought life), the leaping and dancing between time, space, and character’s heads for that matter, sets me up for life as a writer. 

However, all this to say I often find it incredibly difficult to remain still. To live in the moment. To slow down. To appreciate the now. To enjoy life.

This has been a lifelong quest—this grounding myself in the here and now, living wholly present and engaged in my current surroundings. Simmering the mental fireworks to listen to gentle noises that are so soft, so much like whispers they could almost not be considered sounds at all.

And my agent knows this about me. This comforts me. She also knows what awaits, the harried schedules I’ll face, the deadline pressures. So she passes along the kindest truth she can think of, rooted in experience, expressed gently, but with some push behind it.

“Enjoy life.”

A blended Yin and Yang, both encouragement and warning.

So you know what I did this weekend? I gave myself permission.

How about you, is it difficult for you to slow down and savor moment to moment? To remember to live in the here and now?

*It’s animal farm here today. Notice my analogies included: a pig, a frog, and a dog?

**photo by flickr