How to Become an Anything Girl 101

A few weeks ago I told you about Cadence, a little girl of maybe three or four who confidently introduced herself outside of a mall bathroom, “Hi, I’m Cadence, and I can do anything.” In ways she could never imagine, this child and her gotcha-world stance stuck in my head.

I aspire to adopt Cadence’s attitude toward life every day.

Then there are days I end up sending my daughter texts suggesting the life of a prairie dog could suit me just fine. Whenever the world starts to royally freak me out (I get flipped off by a road ragey driver, or I make the mistake of watching the news for too long) I begin to fall seriously in love with the idea of never stepping foot outside my home again. Prairie dog living sounds ideal. Hide out, then pop up from time to time just so everyone knows I still exist. That pretty much defines how I’ve handled social media lately. After my confessional text to my kid about wanting to be a prairie dog, within seconds we both shot each other an identical GIFs. #wildfun

Here’s the truth: I’m not merely an Anything Girl wannabe. She’s inside me, and like the prairie dog analogy, how I remind the world I haven’t petered out in some hole somewhere, the Anything Girl pops her head up from time to time. It’s a welcome surprise. I like her. She’s ballsy, uninhibited, and

her voice matters. (I’m enjoying addressing myself in 3^rd person a little too much. Stopping now.) In time I’ve learned how to coax the Anything Girl out of me on a whim. If you’re intrigued and tempted to show the world the Anything Girl in you—pay attention.

The following are all things I’ve learned to create the best environment for the Anything Girl in me to thrive—

• The sooner you embrace life is a tangled knot of pain and joy, the better off you’ll be.
• Learn how to not take rejection too personally.
• Establish a circle of trust (nod to Robert De Niro in Meet the Parents). Stick close with the people who encourage you through hard times, celebrate your accomplishments, and those who’ll remain loyal to you through all things. At all times.
• Laugh at yourself as frequently as possible.
• Don’t stuff your emotions.
• Don’t embarrass easily.
• Be willing to try new things and adventures even when they (not if because they will) scare you or you’re afraid.
• Do not—by any means—ever—compare your life and losses and insecurities and dreams and wants and hurts and chin hair or knobby knees or cellulite to anyone else. We are all supposed to be different. And only you can do you (feel free to make a T-shirt with that on it…giving you full permission here).
• Try hard not to control or judge others. Reflect upon and seek to improve your own sloppy ass life first before you rattle on about someone else’s mess. Even better, don’t entertain yourself with rumors or gossip at all.
• Swear occasionally. (See don’t stuff emotions above.)
• Get with your spouse often (you’re welcome, SGM).
• Don’t let the past or your idea of what the future is supposed to look like have more power than your present.
• Find something to be grateful for every day, even if it’s just that you didn’t have to clean toothpaste art off the granite countertop in the kids’ bathroom for once.
• Practice kindness with strangers. And loved ones.
• Seek to understand. All people. All things. And consider staying quiet until you reach a point of deeper understanding.
• Do not consider anyone of a higher or lower worth. Treat everyone with an equal measure of compassion and love.
• Admit faults readily, but use discretion online. Trolls will slay you. Even people who are otherwise reasonably cordial have a tendency to grow claws when their fingers reach the keyboard. Guard your heart. And your head space.
• When your thought life gets exceptionally ugly remind yourself of the limited time you have on earth. I often hear Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman in my head telling me it comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living or get busy dying.
• Don’t be content with who you were yesterday. Every day strive to improve.
• Understand—I mean really understand that your worth does not come from others’ impressions of you or how tidy or messy your life is.
• Know you will be tempted more times than you could possibly conceive to give up on a dream—that thing inside you sense you’re on earth for. Don’t give up. 

I’m sure I’ll be writing more posts like this one. I hope the list above inspires you to be an Anything Girl (or Guy). The world needs more thoughtful and purpose-focused people leading others toward effective and healing change.

You ready?

*My prairie dog kid ready to hit the dance floor at prom this past weekend—an Anything Girl in training. And if you look closely, you might spot the shadow of a rare enormous prairie dog on the left.

Kermit Is No Joke

I’m not an artist. However, I love to paint. My mom knows this and she surprised me this Mother’s Day by sending me six canvases to try my hand on. (Isn’t that cool my mom sends me gifts for Mother’s Day?) Immediately one of my daughters came up with something she wanted me to paint.

Kermit the Frog. With a cowboy hat. Wearing a Supreme shirt.

Always up for a challenge, I got to work. I sketched, erased, and sketched some more. I dabbed my brush in greens of this shade and that. I even figured out how to tackle the hat (this is turning into a Dr. Seuss post).

The final product –

 Looks exactly like Kermit, huh? ;-)

The point is that I had a fun creating this. I didn’t hold back out of fear. I simply went for it. And I learned that cartoonists have real talent.

Have you tried something out of your comfort zone lately?

Full Life

I saw this while walking around one of my favorite local shopping centers. 

  

It embodies so much of how I aim to live.

Know that I realize I’ve been somewhat quieter lately. It’s funny in a way because as I’m getting ready to release a new novel this fall I’m finding I have to gear up, I have to ready myself to reenter the noise.

It’s not like I haven’t been busy this summer. In the past week alone I’ve given feedback on two novels for critique partners, as well as a non-fiction health book my friend is publishing soon. I’ve signed kids up for dance and soccer and am still in shock I’m preparing them for school in one week (big change from going back the first week in September). I said goodbye after my mom visited, met up with a family from Connecticut, attended a dynamic dinner party, gone on six mile walks with my husband, painted more drywall (because I really can’t stay away), and worked with the cover designer on my new novel. I wrote 5,000-words of one novel, while editing major sections of another. Oh, and I signed up for a writer’s conference in November. So, yes, I’m keeping active. Behind the scenes for now.

Much like an athlete, I’m feeling myself stretch and prepare to get back out there. It’s been years since I’ve released a book. Even with all of the preparation, it’s easy to forget how daunting it is.

So, when the world rattles or my confidence wavers, I try to remember one thing.

I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. And my life is full.

10 Ways to Fry Your System

I wanted to share a few ways I’ve figured out how to fry my system. They’re tried and true. Trust me,

have a go at these and you’ll be stressed to the limit in no time.

You are welcome.

The 10…

Expect Perfection from Yourself & Others

I’m not a perfectionist, but I find it’s the moments when I demand perfection from myself or others that I am quickly disappointed. Push yourself, yes. Help others to know what you value and expect. But also leave room for imperfections. Sometimes those allow for the most effective and life-impacting growth.

Consume Too Much & Sit All the Livelong Day

I combined these two into one because they are sort of a gimme. And they’re covered in every health magazine every single issue. Overindulgence of food or drink (especially on a regular basis and not just when you wedding crash or celebrate a big birthday) is guaranteed to leave you with little energy to spare. Lack of exercise will turn your body to jelly and it won’t just hurt to climb the stairs, it’ll hurt to walk from one room to the next. Think, no one wants to carry you through life. Better to carry yourself with strength.

Forget to Laugh

Take yourself too seriously. Go ahead, try it. See how it works for you. I really believe laughter is one of the greatest medicines known to man. It often accompanies humility and perspective. They’re a mighty fine threesome.

Go Hard All Day & Night

I have this tricky thing that’s been happening with me lately. I’ve been doing some insane plotting and writing in my sleep. Wonderful, you say. Double duty, you think. To which I respond, no--emphatic no. I can personally attest to the fact that burning the candle at both ends like this compromises my peak brain function during the daytime hours. Go hard, yes. But structure hours for this. No human is meant to mimic a fake pink bunny playing the drums twenty-four-seven.

Entertain Negative Thoughts

Wallow in them. Believe every lie at its core. Marinate in the absurd, the outlandish and the malicious. Have a party for these thoughts and watch for yourself how they’ll trash your place and leave it a bloody mess.

Invite Worry into Every Relationship & Scenario

Moms have a secret oath we agree to the second our babies leave our bodies. Somewhere inside us we buy into the misguided notion if we worry we can sway the circumstances or the end results. Given this one is born from a strong sense of caring, you don’t need me to tell you worry is a magnificent timewaster. I’ve allowed hours to tick by when I’ve worked myself into a tizzy about four hundred devastating potentials only to be mocked when not a single one of my imagined scenarios plays out. How’s that for quality time management?

Answer to Everybody but Yourself

Pull an Igor and make everyone else in charge of your life. Become a people pleaser with little sense of pride. Great way to lose a solid sense of yourself. And tire yourself out faster than I can say, “Yes, Master.”

Become a Slave to Technology

Better yet let the Internet, your phone, or social media own your day. Whew, I’m wiped out just thinking about trying to keep up with the ever-changing scope of online communication.

Be Afraid of Changing a Routine or Life Pattern

Something’s not working? Stay the course, the exact same course you’ve been running hard at for five years. Then again, you could always take a risk. Mix things up. Learn to breathe again by stepping out.

Believe Doctor Visits Are for Sissies

A few months ago a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. She could have blown off her cough. I know I have a tendency to put off a call to my doctor, convincing myself that everyone in my family (and the entire world) come before me. I’m so thankful my friend made that doctor’s appointment because she gave herself the chance to fight beautifully and that’s exactly what she’s been doing. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more joyful person.

I know you can’t wait to go try some of these. I won’t keep you. Go for it. What have you got to lose? Oh, that’s right. Your health, energy, strength, stamina…and so much more.

What runs you down the quickest?

*Bonus, just for giggles overbook your schedule and over-commit yourself. C’mon, you know you want to. ;-)

Moving Thoughts Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

Jump in before you second-guess yourself or wait until you’re sure?

*photos by stock.XCHNG

8 Ways to Lead a Less Lemming Life

Say that ten times fast.

Seriously though, I’m a huge advocate of people tapping into their God-given talents and living them out with exuberance. It can get mighty tricky to do this if we’re spending our valuable time trying to do as so and so says and live as such and such does.

We all fall prey to this behavior. Must have a Facebook fan page. Pinterest is the new black. Man, those jeans make her look good. Where can I snag a pair of those? What, I’m not a good mom if I don’t have each of my kids enrolled in at least three activities?

How do we break the cycle? How do we become intentional about not parading off the cliff? How do we lead a less lemming life?

8 Ways. Here. Now.

Remember Our Assignment

Mystery of the earth solved. We’re here for one reason—to glorify God. What does that look like? What the heck does that mean in your life? Well how the heck should I know. That’s part of the assignment, figuring out what that does look like in your life. (Major hint: Not to get too kumbaya on you, but I guarantee it will always start with, continue with, and come back to love.)

Pay Attention to Our Footsteps

The past matters. We’re wise to learn from it. It’s worth it to pay attention to where we’ve been as it carries the potential to strongly influence where we’re headed.

Make Sure We’re Well Fed

Desperate and hunger-starved souls are quick to follow any crowd if there’s hope of being fed. Dive off that cliff? Well, golly sure.

Let Go of the Guy in Front

No coattails coasting here. Pave your own way. Create a path. Bushwhack if necessary. Don’t expect someone else to pull you along. Or ignore this advice and have him pull you right off the cliff with him. Your choice.

Appreciate the Scenery

You’ll be less likely to jump if you’re taking in the beauty all around you. The sky. The vast surging ocean. You’ll trust your instincts. Discern with a sharp assessment of the situation. Hard to constantly compare our walk to another’s when we’re constantly looking up with a spirit of gratitude.

Don’t Be Afraid to Step Out of Line

Take risks.

Shake Your Groove Thang Every Once in Awhile

Get in the practice of being bold. Jut a hip out every so often. See how it feels when your body jiggles to the music inside your head. Then shake, shake, shake senora. I happen to believe this is one of the steps on the road to learning how to glorify God. I also happen to believe He’s thrilled to watch us dance and move to the music he planted inside our souls.

Learn at Every Turn

It takes a long time to reach the edge of the cliff. Larry Lemming taught us the value of gathering food back there. Lisa Lemming revealed how essential it is to go against our natural instincts toward solidarity and to stick together when she got eaten by that wild animal. Llama Lemming taught us not to spit on other lemmings (ever). Okay, this post is taking an odd turn. Time to wrap up.

There’s a reason you’re here. A significance. That thing you do. That specific way you make others feel. If you’re still trying to figure out the path you need to take here’s the best piece of advice I’ve ever read…

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord.” Jer. 29:13  (NIV)

or put another way

“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”  Jer. 29:13 (Msg)

And if you happen to leap with the rest of them off the cliff, truth is, God’s arms are wider than the ocean. He’s a good catcher too. He’ll put you back up on solid ground to learn this all over again.

Which less lemming way spoke to you most today?

 
*note that the “mass suicide” of lemmings is actually a misconception, but hey, it made for a creative post idea so I went with it

**photo by stock.XCHNG