I’ve had the life-changing experience of being a part of
some amazing book clubs. We’ve met for
years, growing our book shelves and our outlook
on the world and those we share it with. Incredible relationships have formed.
Unforgettable conversations have taken place. That being said, I’ve met plenty
of people who’ve wanted to know what makes it work. I’ve heard stories about
book clubs that have imploded and crumbled until eventually they fizzled out
entirely.
I’ve read hundreds of novels in my day. But that’s not all I
read. I love books on leadership, creativity, group dynamics, growth,
inspiration, etc. And I’ve read enough of these to know, as well as have taken
on leadership roles in almost every stage of my life, that cohesiveness and
group dynamics are sometimes a pliable experiment.
With the knowledge I’ve gained through the years, my own
book club experiences, and my observations having visited over two dozen book
clubs as an author, I’m offering some potential reasons why you’re book club
might be slowly dying.
If you want to resuscitate the life of your group, the
following are worth a read…
Show me the Money
Somewhere along the way the focus of your group slipped off
track. The ohs and ahs were in response to the elaborate food and wine
selection, the upscale restaurant choice, even the over-your-head book you
selected because you wanted to come across smart. A book club can derail when
it becomes a show—all about the money and not about the content inside the book
and the people in the group. I was asked to discuss THE FLOWER GIRLS with a
thriving group in town. They meet up at a restaurant every month. This works
for them. But it might not for your group. Find what works. Word hard to keep
the focus where it belongs. The way I see it, a successful group shouldn’t care
if you show up in Banana Republic attire or a pajama top your toddler smeared with
bananas.
War and Peace Out
I love Wally Lamb. He’s been a huge inspiration for my work
for years. However, I’d think twice before I’d choose I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE
for my book club. I’m confident it would lead to a great discussion, but I’m also
mindful how busy the women in my group are. It just wouldn’t fly. Women and
yes, men, the length of a book matters. There are some fantastic lengthier
reads out there. Ask your group how much they can handle. I know in my case
there are women who show up each month that simply couldn’t get the book read.
I think they’d see a 900-page book and say fuget about it before they opened
the first page.
Opinion Opal
Anyone who has ever been in a group knows exactly who
Opinion Opal is. She’s not a group killer per se, but she sure can put a bruise
in a book club. When one person dominates most of the discussion it can sour the
overall group experience and dissuade the more timid souls in the group from
speaking up, especially if Opal is a bully-type. There are ways to help this
situation. Select different leaders each month. Have the person who chose the
book lead the discussion. Or, do it my favorite way and get with O.O.
one-on-one. Understand where she’s coming from. It’s amazing how, once someone
feels understood, they become more open to change.
Get me out Gabby
By the time book club wraps up not only do you know every
single thing Gabby felt about all nine of the characters in the book, you also
know what shoe size her four kids are, what kind of coffee her husband drinks,
and her bra size. We can all have our Gabby nights, but if you find you’ve got
a repeat Gabby in your group it can make members think twice about showing up
to the next club. Book club questions are a real life saver when it comes to
Gabby.
What Book?
Okay, I get it. There’s nothing like having an excuse to get
your friends together, drink wine, eat expensive cheese, and laugh until it
hurts. But one thing I don’t get is book clubs that never read or discuss the
book. I’ve visited enough book clubs to appreciate when the book launches into
other stimulating discussions. That’s not what I’m referring to here. I’m
talking about when members show up having no clue which book was to be read
this month. If there’s an inconsistent understanding of whether or not members
actually want to discuss the book that can rattle the core of a group that
calls themselves a book club. If that’s your group, I give you permission. Right
here and now. Call yourself wine lovers. Do it and be proud. But if you’re
never reading or enjoying any kind of book discussion, don’t slap a label on
something that can’t own it.
“Tuesday’s
Gray and Wednesday Too….It’s Friday...”
Nothing like an inconsistent meeting time to throw a group
into a complete tizzy. If members can’t circle a date on a calendar (listen to
me, I’m such a ’90s chick with my calendar circling) or type a time in their
iPhone, it’s not happening. We’re all too busy. Irregular or inconsistent
meeting times could be what’s causing the dropouts.
Cookie Cutter
Selections
If the last five books your group has read are about an
Alzheimer’s patient I can guarantee one of two things is going to happen.
Either you’re all going to get hyper-paranoid you’re in the early stages of
dementia, or members are going to begin booking other events the night of the
club, dissing the meeting. Variety is key. I’m not saying you have to hop from
self-help to biography to memoir to psychological suspense. I’m only saying you
should read my books. They’re unique and give you plenty to discuss (shameless
plug). Seriously, variety helps. A wonderful plan for this is throwing several
options for each month in a hat and letting the group decide the final vote.
Size Matters
Oh yeah, I said it. Before, I mean. And now again. Because
the size of your group matters. It really does. I’ve read countless times, in
leadership books, how six to eight people is the ideal group size for a
discussion. This isn’t to say that if you have twelve you should immediately
kick four members out. Because most of us realize there will always be
no-shows. It also doesn’t mean your quaint group of four needs to recruit like
the Girl Scouts on crack. (Scary image, I apologize). It’s simply good to know.
And if you’re group is hurting, it could have to do more with size than you
realize.
So, there you have it. Perhaps I didn’t list one of the
reasons why you sense your group is struggling. I’d love to revisit this topic.
Clearly, it’s something I feel passionate about. It’s because of the profound
impact my book clubs have had in my life. I want that for you.
Feel free to reach out and let me know how it’s going.
