5 Ways to Jumpstart a Stalled Plot

Writing a novel can be a deliciously unpredictable process. Characters can spring surprises on me. Plots can wind in fantastic new directions. But there’s one thing I can pretty much rely on when working on a fresh idea. Somewhere, and at some point, when I reach the middle, the book will threaten to stall. It will dig its heels in and obstinately refuse to take another step.

Good thing I’m aware of this pattern. Because it’s forced me to learn how to deal with it. I have several coping mechanisms for this type of stubbornness. One is to plot out the book well in advance. However, there are times even that doesn’t work and then I have to rely on the other tools I’ve collected through the years.

Here are five ways to get the heart of your plot beating again when it starts to flatline . . .

Let Your MC Loose

Think of the craziest thing your main character might possibly do. Come up with a list. Of course these actions shouldn’t be entirely out of the blue, but tied to their personality, their wants, desires, losses, etc. Then, consider how instead of that bizarre and insane act, your main character could carry out a modified version of it. For example, instead of flinging himself off a roof, your main character could throw a highly valued item off a roof or something else that would create emotional consequences in his life.

Imagine a Window

In my years as an avid runner, I used to pass by people’s homes and wonder about their lives. Do they eat dinner together? Do they argue? Who goes up to bed first? I’d create all kinds of scenarios in my mind. Sometimes the middle of a book requires an author to take a step back. To adopt a unique vantage point. Behold your novel and your characters as though you’re on the outside of their house, looking in. Stalk them if you must.

Kill or Introduce

Some middles beg me to get ruthless. There’s nothing left to do but kill someone off. Other times it’s not necessary for me to be quite so brutal. Instead, I invite an entirely new, albeit significant character into the mix. Think the mother-in-law in Big Little Lies.

Lift the Candy Higher out of Reach

Know what means the most to your character. Then keep it just out of reach. Or tease it close enough to touch, then pull it away. This creates beautiful tension. It’s all about understanding the acuity of timing.

Press the Button

Along the same lines as dangling candy, a wonderful way to add more tension to a plot is to make your character hurt. I know, so mean. But it works. And as the author are the one with the best insight about what will hurt the most. You have access to all the memories, the scars, the fears, and the insecurities. The middle is the perfect place to press all the right buttons to make it feel like things may never go right for the hero. Cruel as it may seem, pressing the button might be exactly what your plot needs to get a move on.

It’s been given the unfortunate nickname of Sagging Middle. Novelists, don’t disgrace your book like this. Don’t let it deserve that name. Imbue life back into the middle. Get creative. Break from formulaic writing. Free up the plot so it can breathe again.

A Seahorse is Born

I saw her eye first. {See it?} Over the weekend, I knew I wanted to paint something on this wood. It was a project waiting to happen. And so this seahorse came to be.

As I painted I thought about how similar the onset of this project is to when I get an idea for a novel. Usually a novel starts with a specific character trait or a unique idea. Then, as I plot out the concept, I watch as the book gradually comes to life.

I encountered surprising details and twists as I brushed the seahorse to life on the wood. I didn’t know she’d end up with swoopy tendrils on her head. As I thought about what to paint next, I took hints from the knots and whorls in the wood. I find this happens a lot while working on a novel. I’ll wake in the middle of the night struck by a fresh idea. I’ll hear a conversation or conjure a memory and the pieces come together. I follow the creativity to see where it’ll lead.

I took breaks from painting to google what actual seahorses look like. Of course I veered from the actual depiction of a seahorse, but that was part of the fun—knowing what I was veering from and having a solid visual to begin with. One of my favorite things about my vocation is that I consider reading novels a necessary part of my work. Research.

It’s pretty cool when you think about it. My creative process shows up in everything I do. It’s more than a formula or a systematic methodology. It’s a way of life. Painting a seahorse (this one in all her quirky glory) is a far cry from writing an entire full-length novel. Except my approach to both felt amusingly familiar.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour.

~ William Blake

Book Crafting Lessons from a Bug

Let me preface this post by letting you know I’m not usually scared of bugs. Normally I don’t hesitate to squash ’em when I see ’em, but it was my turn to sleep in when one particular crawler, track-racing around my ceiling, caught my attention. Here’s something else, this little guy captivated my focus for a healthy duration. I watched, intensely curious (and still hazy from sleep), as he trekked almost entirely around the room. You may be wondering why I didn’t hop up and take the little guy down. I’ll tell you why. He’s perfect fodder for this post—that’s why.

Because that bug (I refuse to call it a roach because I’m still in denial that’s what it was and our bug guy comes this Tuesday, so it’s better for me if I just remain in denial) somehow led me to think about what makes a reader stay with a novel. And not just stay with it, flip pages with vested interest.

I came up with a few parallels between my bug buddy and a book that successfully pulls a reader along.

Fear. Of course not all books must make a reader afraid per se. But compelling novels will evoke emotion in a reader. They will make you feel something. I couldn’t shake the thought that maybe that roach-looking thing was going to go all ninja on me. So I studied it with hawk eyes. My interest was hooked in part due to my emotional reaction. Tension is gold.

Curiosity. I wanted to see where my bug buddy would go. Strong novels lure the reader deeper in when they include characters to care about and a plot that goes somewhere. Truth be told, my bug buddy could move it, move it.

Fascination. I’ve been an animal lover since I was a child. Animals of all kinds intrigue me. And it’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I’m pretty sure I’m the reason why we turn on Wild Kratts every morning before school. All this to say, I had to know how this creature would play his next move. Would it eventually fly? I’ve seen a few creepy-looking ones do that. Would it leap down onto the window and flit against as though caught in a zapper? Would it attack my nose with its flesh-eating legs or spit venom on my forehead? Novels that excel at hooking readers incite readers to ask questions—they encourage readers to care. Whether a reader realizes it or not, they are constantly assessing how a book compares to their life. We want to learn something. Be it simplistic in nature or highly involved, humans are learners at heart.

I know you want to know what happened. Did I eventually smash the sucker and toss it in the toilet? Did it live on to procreate and produce hundreds of other bugs festering in the vents of my home? This leads me to my final bring-it-home bug-related point . . .

The bug made a Houdini great escape. It leapt into some Christmas shopping bags and instantly became invisible. Both my husband and I were not able to locate the little guy. He fled, accomplishing one of the most important things to remember from this post. He embedded himself into my thoughts. The bug is gone. The novel read. And it stays with you. That, my friends, is an indicator of a compelling read.

Think of me tonight as I sleep with one eye open because the bug has done its job. 

What is Chlot?

I live in a house with teenage girls. This means I’m constantly updated on the latest regarding Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. One daughter is in favor of their rumored recent reunion. One not so much. The youngest is too young to care. I’m likely too old to care. No matter what you think of the recoupling of Justin and Selena, you probably cringe a little like I do whenever you hear their “couple” name. Jelena.

That’s exactly why I’ve decided to throw a new writing term at you. The next time you hear someone on the radio going on and on about Jelena, I want your writer brain to replace it with this word . . .

Chlot.

Every book needs it. It’s the essential coupling that must take place for a book to work. James Scott Bell and Jeff Gerke have written about it. I’ve heard numerous conference speakers address it. It’s a tried and true basic recipe for potent novel construction. Guess what it is yet?

The marriage of character & plot. Chlot.

Ten years and fifteen novels ago, I spewed out a book. It was an emotional journey. But when it came to plot it was sorely lacking. Call me a slow learner, but fifteen novels later I get how important it is to hurt my characters—to bring them to their breaking point. I understand that a novel that doesn’t include the cohabitation of character and plot is a novel with gaping holes.

Chlot. Character + Plot.

10 Questions to Help Build Stronger Characters

1. What does my character want more than anything in life and how can I keep her from getting it?
2. Who does my character feel closest to and how could I threaten that relationship?
3. What does my main character fear most? How could I incite that fear in some way to the book
4. Where does my main character place most of her trust? And how can that trust be damaged?
5.  How could my character’s deepest secret come back to haunt her?
6. Is there a way to force my character to relive a horrible experience, tapping into a psychological, torturous replay?
7. What has the power to push my character to the breaking point and how can I introduce that something at a vulnerable moment in my character’s life?
8. How will my reading audience best connect with this character? How will they relate?
9.  Does my main character learn something powerful about herself that will impact the rest of her life?
10. Am I being too nice to my character because sometimes she reminds me of a loved one or even me?

10 Questions to Help Develop a Compelling Plot

1. What can happen in this scene that will cause readers to worry?
2. Who can I kill, maim, or severely mentally injure?
3. How can I force my character into a setting that terrifies her?
4. What opponent can my character face that has a good chance of crushing her?
5. What kind of danger can I throw at my main character?
6. How can I set it up so my character is betrayed?
7. How can I take what my character wants most and make it feel increasingly impossible to achieve?
8. What is mentally or physically immobilizing my character so they are unable to act against their greatest threat?
9. What perceived or real enemy can suddenly gain an advantage, causing my main character to doubt their strength/intelligence/ability to flee harm (whether perceived or real)?
10.  How can time play a role in my character’s stress? Deadlines? Urgency? Life or death matters?

Personal Space

We recently bought a new TV. And it’s great. It is. However, I’ve noticed something that feels a little strange and I’ve finally put my finger on it. There’s almost too much detail. There are times I click it on and I feel like the actors are hanging out in my living room. It’s taken me a while to adjust. I’ve gleaned something else from this new TV watching experience and it’s mildly off-putting.

The screen doesn’t leave any room for my imagination to kick in. All the pixels and minute details are filled in for me.

This happens in books, too.

I read a cool quote the other day that touches upon this exact point. Annie Proulx emphasizes, “I think it’s important to leave spaces in a story for readers to fill in from their own experience.”

I wholeheartedly agree. An adept novelist gifts the reader with their own reading experience. The act of writing for me is an intensely personal exploration. The act of publishing is a sacrificial process of letting go. Why letting go? Because it’s up to the reader to fill in the gaps, to filter in their own life experiences as they read. The story ultimately becomes theirs to interpret.

The following are indicators an author has neglected to leave enough space for the reader.

Too Many Details

Like my TV, the author has inundated the reader with a litany of details. Every unnecessary one inserted in the story slowly robs the reader of identifying with the plot and/or characters. Details should be chosen wisely. Use them, absolutely. Details can do wonders to bring a book to life. However, make sure not to pixelate the reader to death.

Formulaic

If you’ve read my blog before, you probably know I’m not a huge fan of math. It shouldn’t surprise you then that I also don’t love formulaic writing. It’s another imagination stealer. Plot your heart out. Know where your story is headed, but don’t color-by-number your writing. It limits all that your story can become, at the same time as dulling down the impact for the reader.

Pretty Little Bow Writing

I’m all for an uplifting or satisfying ending that provides resolve for the reader. I think an author does a reader a disservice when they insert a tidy, clean ending or plot path, assuming that’s the only way to do things. Life is muddy. I’m not suggesting authors need to royally screw up the lives of all their characters (although that certainly can help strengthen a plotline). I am suggesting an author will seriously want to consider their motivation for making things pretty. If it’s too pretty and spotless, readers will struggle to identify. Imagination will suffer.

No Room for Reflection

Even in the best suspense novels (especially in the best suspense novels) authors find a way to allow the reader to digest what’s going on. They play with pacing so the reader has a moment to reflect upon what the main character is going through—they’re given an opportunity to really feel it. To empathize. That is the crux of good writing. Nuanced pacing. It’s writer’s gold.

Premature Solutions

Don’t resolve problems too quickly. Let suspense grow yeast-like in the reader’s mind. Give them time to make guesses, to fret, to become more invested in the story. If an author doles out rapid fire solutions the story loses its ability to root inside the reader’s minds. Connection is lost.

I love a realistic, gripping story, but not at the sake of sacrificed imagination. I still want to read and wonder. I want my own memories and moments to fold into the stories I’m reading. It’s difficult for this to occur when an author has unintentionally impeded a story from strumming imagination. Sometimes, as authors, we’re so obsessed with making things communicate as real, we forget to leave space for the reader. It’s worth paying attention to. Your readers will thank you.

Work Hard & Play Hard Mentality

I raked a lot of leaves yesterday. My youngest jumped up and down elated when I gave her the signal it was okay to run and leap in. She flung her arms in the air and rolled around, giggling, full of life. She even swam in the leaves, communicating in an instant what a blast she was having.

If you’ve spent time raking leaves, you know the kind of exertion it takes. Especially if you have a massive maple in your front yard that sheds at the slightest puff of wind. There’s blood, sweat, and tears involved. Or at least one of the three if you’re doing it right.

Work. Hard work put in.

It’s motivating, while gathering leaves in gargantuan piles, to meditate on the smile that will be on my daughter’s face when she dives in the bed of bright autumn foliage. Yesterday, I was thinking about how raking parallels with writing a novel. Whipping up a novel isn’t child’s play. You need discipline, tenacity, and the tested ability to throw your pride out the window on a daily basis. There are characters to carve out and plot lines to dissect and rewrite a million times. There are words to chop and chapters to switch around. Writing a novel isn’t like having a gigantic tarp under your maple ready and waiting to catch every leaf that falls. No, ideas need to be dragged together. Sweatshirts need to be shucked and long sleeves rolled up. It’s a dirty, bedraggled experience.

And we, the authors, we do it for you.

We do it for the smiles, for our readers to get the feeling you’re swimming in a world gathered up just for you.

The way I see it, I work hard, my readers play hard.

And that makes me smile.

Character Development 1:01 (Midnight – Noon)

When you’re in the brainstorming stages of writing a novel it’s invaluable to take the time to get to

know your characters. This doesn’t mean you’ll end up including all the things you might discover about your MC (main character). It only means you’ve done your homework and you’ve gotten to know your characters so well you won’t even hesitate when thinking about how they’d respond to certain situations.

I’m breaking up the clock to help you ask some imperative character questions. The following will enable you to get better acquainted with those most important to your story, which will in turn create a more believable, dynamic novel.

1 am

Is he alone or madly focused on composing? Does everyone in the bar have their eyes on him? Is he flying across country wanting to smother the old man snoring by his side? Has his checked his children’s bedrooms a dozen times since the break in? Does his back hurt too much for him to sleep?

2 am

Is she just getting up for work? Does she wake to write down her dreams, convinced they mean something? Is she reaching for the man by her side or turning her back to him, tears sliding down her cheeks? Is the cat asleep on her head again? Does she pace the room, debating whether she should pop yet another sleeping pill? Where are her slippers? Her favorite books? Her clothes laid out for tomorrow?

3 am

Does he wake up now so no one will see him leave his apartment, no one will know? Is he sweating? Trembling because the sickness has taken ahold of his entire body? Or because he’s going through withdrawal? Is he calling his father to tell him he’s sorry because he knows he’ll never pick up in the night? How many lights does he have on the phone? Is there food by his bed? Cigarettes? The Catcher in the Rye, his favorite book from high school?

4 am

Did her cold keep her up sneezing all night? Does she crawl under the covers to hide from the light? Is she the only one running on dark streets? Is she rocking the baby and singing that song her mom used to sing her, botching up the lyrics wonderfully? Is she counting the minutes until he gets off the plane? Rolls over and goes to shower? Says the three words she’s been waiting to hear her whole life. “I’m leaving you.”

5 am

Is his headache keeping him from getting out of bed? Does he snap open the paper and read for hours upon his Egyptian cotton sheets? Do yoga in bed? Close his eyes and pretend to be making love to his late wife? How many soaps are in the shower waiting for him? What kind? Is his bathroom dirty? Does he nick himself shaving? Often or almost never?

6 am

Is she quiet when she gets up, or does she blare “What’s Going On?” by the Four Non-Blondes? Does her dog pounce on her, anxious to go out? Does her teenage daughter slam the doors and curse because her son has claimed the bathroom first? Is she well-rested? Excited about the day? Dreading every moment that’s to come? What’s the first mirror she looks in? Is she at peace with what she sees? Did the garbage truck wake her up again? The birds? Her husband with a scary-confused look on his face?

7 am

Is he late again? How many cups of coffee does he consume? Does he wake up on the street next to a homeless guy? Is traffic the thing that’s going to make him seriously lose it? Does he whistle on his way into the office? Check his phone a million times? Overly tip the cab driver? Is he sure that she’ll see the zit that’s formed a crater on his face? Or the stupid ways his legs look in gym shorts? Or will she make fun of how he croaks when he’s called upon in class?

8 am

Does she ride with friends to work to save on gas? Or is that just what she says, but she appreciates that they’re built-in designated drivers after their late nights? How much time did she spend on makeup? Her hair? Her presentation? Does she open the fridge and cringe at how little food there is to pack in each of the brown bags her kids take to school? Is there a wine spill on the living room carpet she has no idea how it got there? But fears it has something to do with her fourteen-year-old and the friend she had over last night? Is she self-conscious about her breath, lack of bras that fit, scuffed shoes?

9 am

Does he take the first meeting of the day outside? Is a kayak ride exactly what he needed this morning? A good lay? More drugs? More money? Less stress? Some kind of reconnection to the faith he had in his youth? Is he already tired? Hyper-energized and annoying everyone in the office around him with his inappropriate jokes he hopes will get him fired someday soon?

10 am

Is she staring at naked body in the mirror? Pumped at the weight she lost? Mad about the breast she lost? Terrified at not knowing more about the virginity she lost? Does she make a list of pros and cons to finally make up her mind? Or a grocery list? Or reasons to die or not to die? Is she crazy bubbly or depressingly dull at this hour? Does she wish everyone could see the party side of her that comes out during late night hours? Is she going to confront her professor, scared he will flunk her if she goes in with the truth?

11 am

Does he quit and go buy a boat? A flight? A tennis racket? Is his belly grumbling and he finds himself cursing his stomach staple surgery? Does he get embarrassed when his cheeks flush, afraid everyone at school will say his girly? Is he “too” girly? For himself? His dad? Why does he care? Is he tired of caring? Does he put on his new super expensive sneakers, but then find himself cleaning them off every hour so they won’t get dirty? Does he buy his friend lunch? Does he climb the tree he knows is outside her window? And stalk her? Propose to her? Knock and smile?

~

If you ever get stumped while writing a novel ask questions like the above. Don’t settle for the usual suspects. Probe. Dig. Go out of your way to get to know your characters. They’ve been waiting.

As June Carter Cash would say, “Time’s a Wastin’” so get to it! It’s time to bring some characters to life.

*Excited to launch my new website. Goal is for launch is this summer!

The Hard Way

Restructuring around here. I’m back to posting on Mondays & Wednesdays.
Mondays I’ll focus on the Business of Creating.
Wednesdays will be all about The Love of the Craft (specific writing-related posts).
“The beginning is always today.” Mary Shelley

The Hard Way

Several summers ago, when we had a second story built on top of a portion of our house, our contractor didn’t really consider one important detail.

The vanity we’d already purchased would not fit through the doorways they’d constructed.

Which led to what happened in the picture above.

They found a way. The hard way. (Man, it was fun to watch though.)

How does this translate to novel writing? It begins with a confession. I’m not much of a plotter. I love the idea of characters being able to surprise me at any given moment while I’m writing a first draft. It thrills me knowing twists may come up out of nowhere. Think glorious blooms, not groundhogs.

However, through the years (and eleven novels later) I’ve learned it’s mighty helpful to have a few key concepts plotted. And after I spend time stewing, marinating, and plotting, I end up being rewarded twofold. During the revision process I don’t have to figure out how to hoist a 500 pound load on my back. In other words, I don’t have to work backwards and potentially rewrite three quarters of the book because it followed a rabbit trail. Or Uncle Jimmy filled most of the pages and it really wasn’t his story to tell. Second reward is that while crafting the first draft I still insist upon keeping the door open for twists to storm through. Guaranteed, there are always a few that insist upon dropping their luggage and moving in. I welcome them with open arms.

Now, I’m not claiming that once you plan your novel things always go according to plan. It’s by no means “easy” constructing a ninety thousand word manuscript. But, you save yourself from some of the pains you’d likely endure had you decided to forgo the brainstorming and plotting sessions.

So, what measures do I take before writing the first word? I make sure I have a firm handle on the basics.

The Basics

·         Introductions

I get to know the players. I do a psychological head dive to discern more about each and every character. I’ll go into more details about this in a future post.

·         Establish at least 3 Major Turning Points

Moments, events, hardships, decisions that challenge the main character, making life substantially harder for them.

·         POV (Point of View)

Who is best to tell this story? Whose story is this to tell?

·         Past or present tense?

·         Setting

·         Hook

What makes this story different than anything else I’ve read or come across? I craft a back cover blurb for every book I’m working on. I test it out on avid readers—see if it grabs their interest.

*I brainstorm twists, but I’m not rigid with this as they often grow roots and become more meaningful and developed as I work on the story.

Say no to the backbreaking way of novel writing. Don’t worry, novelist, I’ve got your back!

8 Indicators a Novel Idea Possesses Staying Power

I’ve admitted to you before how frequently I come up with new story ideas.

But not all seeds have what it takes to root and develop into a beautiful potted plot. I wrote a post about how I whittle my ideas down as a process of testing them to see if they’ll make it over the long haul here.

Today I’m highlighting eight indicators an idea is strong enough to last:

Relevance Factor

Is there something about the theme, subject matter, or main conflict that evokes immediate recognition, feeling, or resonance in our contemporary culture? In the news? A well-known event? Something I’m intrigued to learn more about (a must)?

Head Talk

When characters start playing out conversations in my mind I’m inclined to reach for a pen and start taking notes. This also occurs a little later in the plotting stages and tends to signal to me a loyalty to move ahead. It’s a major score for a writer. Yes, my characters will talk to me.

Plot Twists & Conflict Flourish

Plans for directions the novel could take begin to jut off like streaming estuaries as opposed to dry up like cracks in the desert. Love when this happens!

That First Date Feeling

I reach the point where I’m so fascinated I want to ask a million questions. I must know more.

Wake up Excited

To unravel the story.

Can’t Sleep Excited

To unravel story. Enter pen and paper by my bed for middle of the night jottings.

Depth Potential

Does this idea have the potential to stir up something deep within me? If so, I explore it further. If not, I shut it down.

Off the Charts Empathy

This is one of my favorite stages of writing—when my main character becomes “alive” and I begin to “feel” what she’s feeling. I know a novel has what it takes to stick around if my protagonist is churning this kind of reaction in me.

It seems like not much has staying power these days. Technology changes faster than I can finish this sente… Loyalty is hard to come by. But I’m loyal through and through. I’m also discerning. It pays when I evaluate the stories that are worth my time and energy.

How do you assess whether something has staying power in your life?

*photo by stock.XCHNG

8 Stages of Writing a Novel

Likely you’ve heard of the five stages of grief, yes? Well maybe you didn’t know there are eight stages of composing a novel. (Making this up. But let’s go along with it for the sake of this post.)

Quick review of the stages of grief:

Denial & Isolation
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Now for the universal stages of writing a novel:

Brilliance

The birth of the idea or character.  You are pure genius.

Enamored

The characters, the plot, the setting…all of it. You’re in love with all of it. Words spill out of you. The sun shines brighter. Bluebirds land on your windowsill, serenading you with a song you’re pretty sure you can interpret as “You are made for this writing gig.”

Frustration

Ack. You’ve hit a stale patch. What to do here? Invent a nemesis? Stop writing? Delete everything you’ve written? Create a new story? You slam your hand in the window while shutting it to block out the jabbering birdie. Ack!

Confusion

Wait, you thought you were born to write this story. What’s going on? Why the lull? Why the lack of tension, or characters weaker than tea that’s been steeped for mere seconds? Why? Why? Why?

Doubt & Fear

You’re only halfway in. Not sure you can do this. Bit off entirely more than you can chew. No one will read this. No one will buy this. No. No. No.

Perseverance

Suckin’ it up. Getting back on the horse. Cantering. Shoving the words on the page with the effort one might use to smash a bullfrog into a thimble. I will do this. I must accomplish THIS!

Shock

The End. Typed. You stare, scrunch your nose, then reread the words. Me, you think. I did that? Why yes, you very well did.

Release

After a good scrub, shake down, declawing, shave, bath with stringent soap, and 182 other ways to edit your work, you find a way to let it go. Into an agent’s hands. To the Internet. To a publishing house. Take your pick. Find your way. But no matter, you release it and watch it soar.

Which stage resonates with you most?

*planning to continue with these 8 Stages of ____________ over the next few Wednesdays
**photos by stock.XCHNG

The Phantom in my Novels

If you’re a novelist, you have a phantom that creeps across your pages, a shadowy menace working hard to remain anonymous and undetected.

He stalls your work, keeping it from all it’s meant to be. And your phantom happens to like changing capes. (If he’s anything like mine.) So he shows up in disguise, lurking, chameleon-like with a tenacious bent toward flubbing your work.

Time to name the different disguises the phantom likes best:
~

The Frasier
Forced and flowery prose. Longwinded diatribes. Desperate to come across sounding erudite, the phantom likes to imitate Frasier. And while he’s at it, he’s good at distracting the reader from what’s really going on.

The Rambler
Frasier’s cousin. Purposeless dialogue bumping up against purposeless dialogue. The Rambler is bound to get our books slammed closed.

The Offroader
I often enjoy discovering a story within a story within a story. It’s like a Chinese nesting doll reading experience. But being entirely offroaded while reading a novel isn’t quite as fun. When I’m taken out of the story for no reason and plopped into another story, I can bet the phantom is hiding in the pages. He’s struck again, only I’m so offroaded I have a difficult time finding traces of him.

The Yawn Maker
You know how Mentos is the freshmaker, right? Well, our slippery phantom likes to be the yawn maker. He throws on a beige cape (poor beige, it’s always gotten a bad rap) and has our characters act like patients, always waiting, stuck in the purgatory of a boring doctor’s office. Excitement, escalating conflict, and action are nowhere to be found.

The Clogged Drain
Wearing a slightly different color cape than his Yawn Maker one, our phantom stalls action in our scenes. He slows everything down to a Sunday driver pace and causes readers to lose focus and any investment in the plot. Because good ol’ phantom is stuffing Styrofoam in the scenes you want to read fluidly.

The Light Dimmer
Sneaky phantom steals the power from setting when he plays his light dimmer role. He throws the entire scene on mute and thwarts it from living up to its potential by making the setting mundane, commonplace, and unimportant.

The Mary Poppins
Remember when Mary jumps into the sidewalk chalk drawings and the new fairy tale world is one big tribute to her? Phantom loves when we do this with our novels. He encourages us to let our own emotionally experience blend into our work so much that our MCs act in uncharacteristic ways. Why uncharacteristic? Because they’re acting like us and not them. A surefire phantom stamp.

Isn’t this one big beautiful example of displacement? Not fun to admit we make these mistakes readily in our novels, so go ahead, just blame it on that nasty phantom. Makes me rethink the term ghostwriting. ;)

Can you think of any other disguises our phantom wears in effort to weaken our novels?

*photo by flickr
**All “I”s are on somebody. Check out who (in a bit) here.