If you’ve visited here much you know I’m a huge proponent of
empathy. I believe it transforms characters to become more authentic in novels,
it draws people closer together, diminishes the fierce intensity to judge, and
provides countless opportunities for us to grow.
Here’s my I 8 Wednesday list of ways to step inside someone
else’s shoes:
Understand How She
Communicates
Some are talkers. Some are writers. Some express freely.
Some shy away. Some are passive aggressive. She has experienced life. She wants
to share—how will she go about doing so?
Consider Her Past
Everyone has been hurt. And everyone’s hurt places tell a
story about who they are today. Scars, emotional or physical can stand out like
the equator when we’re trying to understand the map of one’s soul.
Share Her Dreams and
Failures
She has hopes. She’s failed. Both have influenced the person
she has become. Take a moment to imagine her dreaming…and failing. Is she
inspired by People or National Geographic? Does she give up
easily or dig in until her fingers bleed?
Which Relationships
Does She Value Most & Which Does She Fear Most
What’s that saying that we become most like the five people
we spend the most time with? Who does she surround herself with? Who terrifies
her? Why?
From R.E.M. to Early
When She Rises
Our thoughts are often freshest in the morning, most
unscathed by the distractions of the day. Attempt to wake up in her skin,
facing the day as she might. Is she wide-eyed, bounding from the bed full of
exuberance or dragging herself to the coffee pot as she smashes sleep further
into her eyes?
Work with Her
Does she like what she does? If not, does she have a hobby
or something she pours herself into outside of work that fulfills her? Take on
her hobby for one day.
Take Yourself out of
the Equation
We’re all influenced by our own life experiences. Make a
concerted effort to view the world as she might. Strip yourself of any
preconceived judgment likely waiting to pounce. Does she handle her emotions
and take on the world vastly different than you do?
What is She Hiding
So much of communication is unspoken. What do you suspect
she hasn’t told anyone? Or only a trusted few? What does this secret say about
her?
When is the last time you felt compelled to become more
empathic toward someone?
*photos by stock.XCHNG
