I gleaned so much from reading Surviving Survival: The Art and Science of Resilience I wanted to
share
more of what I learned with you.
Throughout Surviving,
Laurence Gonzales asserts the importance of not giving up. He writes, “Our
ongoing survival requires relentless attention.” And Gonzales really started
talking my language with,
“You have to believe you can influence what happens
in your life.”
Does this mean I cling to the steering wheel of life,
turning and careening to manipulate things to go my way whenever I’d like? Pft,
anytime I try that I end up having to relearn humbling lessons, dust off pride,
and cry uncle while simultaneously crying out for a do-over.
Nope, believing we can influence what happens in life is an
expression of trusting God to move us through our circumstances—trusting God
will move in us. It’s risking enough to step out of the boat and onto the
raging waves despite the fact we know we could sink at any moment.
In Surviving
Gonzales provides 6 ineffective
strategies (what he calls immature defenses) people use in attempt to deal
with difficult circumstances.
These are:
Projection—blaming someone else
Passive aggression—responding with anger
Dissociation—denial
Acting out—examples include fighting,
drinking, gambling
Fantasy—taking a leave of reality
Hypochondria—imagining you are sick all
the time
Then Gonzales details 12 proven strategies for overcoming
hardships and pulling through.
These are:
Recognize
the reality of the situation. Accept it. Prepare to deal with it.
Remain calm
(think, analyze, plan & know what you have and what you want)
Set
achievable goals
Act on your
plan (movement…I’m kinda a fan of this word)
Celebrate
success once you’ve taken action
Count your
blessings
Pray (I took
notes on this part and I can’t read my writing. This is either play or pray.
I’m going with pray b/c it’s worked for me but I don’t recall if that’s what
Gonzales wrote)
Giving (find
meaningful purpose)
Believe you
can influence events
Surrender
Do whatever
is necessary to move forward. Let go of your fears.
NEVER GIVE UP
I like how Gonzales highlights twice the amount of effective
ways to navigate through the aftermath of tragedy than ineffective ways.
When we’re at our most vulnerable we’re more susceptible to
buy into the lie that our influence here is insignificant. I’ve said it before
and I’m sure I’ll say it again, you matter. Your
life here matters. Horrific circumstances have a way of stripping this
truth from us. Without a shadow of a doubt, I’m here to remind you there’s a
reason you’re here.
Hope.
**photo by stock.XCHNG
***I’ll be sporadic online the next few weeks. Next post
will be on April 30th
****I’m thoroughly enjoying my friend Susan DiMickele’s Working Women of the Bible. It’s been a
blast to feature so many cool books my friends have written over the past few
weeks.
Sounds like an interesting book! I need to go back to your earlier posts on it.
ReplyDeleteHope you had the chance to go back and read Part 1. There was just too much good info. to jam it all into one post.
DeleteLots of good ideas in Gonzales's list of strategies for overcoming hardships. It can be hard to implement some of them in the midst of down times, though. They run counter to our natural tendencies. All the more reason to put them into play.
ReplyDeleteIt can feel close to impossible. Another reason not to rely wholly on feelings.
DeleteI especially love this one:
ReplyDelete"Celebrate success once you’ve taken action."
I forget to do that sometimes. :)
Oh man, so do I. I don't stop to celebrate enough. Glad to know I'm not alone.
DeleteThis is really great, Wendy. Thanks for sharing the book. You can really see the difference in the strategies. I really love the Never Give Up. Some people have a darkness that takes them...and the Pray.
ReplyDeleteI've witnessed many people in times of darkness and yes, it can really alter personalities. Like how you worded it--takes.
DeleteThat one is big for me. NGU.
Your posts are not-to-be missed, Wendy. Thanks for always encouraging me -- and so many others.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a true support, Beth. So glad you're in my life!
DeleteThis was really helpful to me today- thanks.
ReplyDeleteI have been praying to know what to do in a difficult situation- and here you are providing some excellent advice. THANKS !
Mary, your comment really moved me. I'm deeply grateful this post spoke to you. There are days I wonder...and then I get comments like this.
DeleteTHANK you!
Thanks Wendy! I am so thankful for your friendship and support, and it means so much to me that we can always pick up where we left off.
ReplyDeleteAm loving your book, Susan! I'm so very proud of you!
DeleteThis sounds really great!
ReplyDeletewww.modernworld4.blogspot.com
Thanks Gina!
DeleteWendy, thanks so much for encouraging me with that last line. Hope! It's what we cling to, isn't it? I've felt darkness this past week, but I'm so grateful for God's presence and light. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLove you, Melanie! And I hope you're pushing through the darkness. Hope!
DeleteHi Wendy -
ReplyDeleteI particularly like the last item: NEVER GIVE UP!
Blessings,
Susan :)
Oh yeah, that's a keeper! Blessings back at ya, Susan!
Delete