What I Learned from Mr. Miyagi

For the next few Mondays I’m going back to the future. Not really. It’s a play on words. Soon it will all make sense to you. (If you could see me now I’m performing the Star Wars hand swipe the Jedi are famous for.)

What we see has immeasurable potential to root into our souls and sprout inside us, contributing to the people we become.

And this all happens discreetly. Life osmosis. Without a doubt, our 100 billion neurons and quadrillion synapses are invisibly tunneling images inside our minds at any given moment.

Enough math. Now onto my point. I watched the original Karate Kid when I was nine. Do I remember the movie well? Not so much. I recall bonsai trees, those funky leg kicks I had a blast trying to imitate, of course a little wax on, wax off, and a handful of other details about the film.

But here’s what stayed with me (at the core): Mr. Miyagi. When he taught Daniel he was teaching me. I was paying attention. From the wise karate instructor I understood the value of patience. I gleaned how imperative it is to work hard at something if you want to achieve success. Images of Daniel on the beach as the sun rose and set come to mind. Creative lessons plans (say it with me: wax on, wax off).

Know what else the man with the bonsai beard and bandana headband that made all bandana headbands cool (sorry Boss) taught me?

The power of transference (the good kind). Mr. Miyagi impressed upon me how incredibly primed we are to pass on our knowledge the minute we stand firm in that knowledge. It’s one thing to live a respected life, working hard, and daily tapping into an ocean of wisdom as we discern our way through the this maze called life. It’s quite another to willingly splash some of that water on another with the hope and intention to help.

Can you think of an example of something you saw in your youth that is contributing to the person you are now?

Some teasers on what’s to come: What I Learned from The Wonder Years & What I Learned from The Golden Girls.

*photo by flickr
**fascinating related article (also ties in with one of my novels)
***All "I"s here today!

Moving Thoughts Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

Do it all over again or Not on your life?

*photos by flickr

Where You’ll Find Me

Okay, so I’m not somewhere over the rainbow right now. Maybe someday. But until that day, I have found a few other hotspots online and I want you to know where to go when you’re looking to have your brain poked, or when you need a hearty belly laugh, or if you just feel like interacting with me.

Some of my favorite online haunts:

Twitter

Facebook

Facebook writer page

email me @ millerct1{at}cox{dot}net

Goodreads

& now I'm on Pinterest (look out!). wendypmiller

here at my main blog

& your blog…

(I love to comment…if I’ve been eerily absent from your space, your blog, your site, etc., shoot me a message and I’ll make an honest effort to come connect.)

I’m due for a hearty laugh, so if you know how to make that happen, reach out on any of the above sites!

*Raela Schoenherr posted some additional online sites for writers on Twitter yesterday. Check them out!

Moving Thoughts Friday

No question today.

Just wanted to give you a heads up that I might be kind of sporadic and a little scarce online over the next few weeks.

I have some pressing things to tend to at home.

Oh wait, here’s a question…

Finish this: When it’s all said and done…

*photo by flickr

Eight Things to Consider When Seeking to Understand

If you’ve been talking as long as I have, then you know that it isn’t always easy. Disputes can readily erupt from a misguided interpretation of a hippo yawn. Words have the ability to bend and mutate so they come out sounding entirely different than the speaking party intended.

So what’s a human to do? As always, think before we speak. And we’re wise to think about the following eight considerations when engaging in conversation and truly seeking to understand.

What are they trying to communicate?
Words might be misfiring, emotions shooting off like flares, and facial expressions could very well pass for a remarkable imitation of Jim Carey in all his impersonating glory, but it helps to ask ourselves what could possibly be the heart of the message the other party is communicating. (Wow, that was a mother long sentence.)

What is going on in their life that might affect the way their conversing?
Period anyone? Ever feel like elephants were raining on your head. All. Day. Long. And then you’re thrown into a necessary, but hypersensitive convo with oh, say your spouse. You’re already so on edge it would take less than the brush of a feather to make you crumble like Lot’s wife. Raining elephant days are something to consider when diving into the deep stuff.

What are they not saying and does it matter?
Body language. Long silences. Completely distracted by a football game. I’ve learned the hard way not to bring up a sensitive topic when there are less than four minutes remaining. Of any game at any time during any season.

Are they arguing because they feel put on the defensive?
We demonstrate discretion and introspection when we take a step back from the heat to evaluate if the manner in which we presented our thoughts potentially put the other party on the front burner.

Is this a sensitive topic for them?
We might not have a particular opinion about Tim Tebow. Hypothetically, we might not have understood the firestorm surrounding who to us has always been “just a football player”. Issues have layers. If we happen to know that bringing up the rotting green pepper incident strikes a chord with such and such, we might want to couch our words with extra care.

How many times have you discussed this topic?
Is it getting old as a rotting green pepper? Have you talked the bad boy to death? Humans can only tolerate merry-go-round topics so much. We need to feel like we’re getting somewhere, like there’s hope and a potential solution or resolve. You know what they say about the definition of insanity? So if the issue must surface, I say bring it up Loch Ness monster style and do it with a song and dance. In other words, try something new.

Take assumption out of the equation.
Resist assuming what every little eye roll might mean. Maybe there really is one fat dangling wooden plank in their eye (ha!) or perhaps there’s a lightshow of falling stars up to the left. It’s worth it to remind ourselves to assume nothing. Because you know what assuming does to U and Me.

Be specific.

Ask for what you want. As much as we like to pretend we are, none of us are adept mind readers. As Johnny (date every woman in Hollywood) Mayer would say, “Say what you need to say.”

Any other things to consider whilst in the midst of a tête-à-tête (oh so fun to write)?

*photo = me modeling this behavior with my sister’s dog, Cael. :D

Free

Boat wake. Loud singing. Prayer vigils. Brain-churning speeches. Long walks. Private talks. Nature trails. Kite tails. Raucous laughter. Waving flags. Protests and Support Parades. Celebrations pushing into dawn. Driving with the windows down. Books with characters vastly unlike me. Engaging in a rowdy debate. Worship in my home. Worship in a church. Worship anywhere I feel like it. Smiling at an interracial couple holding hands. Locking in my vote. Voicing my thoughts. Having a voice. Fighting for the rights of others. Righteous anger. Caring. Letting the Bible light me up inside. Respectful disagreements. Encouraging. Concert lights. Walking away from a fight. An African American choir. Music pulsing through my veins. Choices. Letting go. High fives. Birds against a milky backdrop of snow. Everywhere and nowhere to go. Planning. Hope. Tomorrow full of breath. Heaven waiting. No fear in death. Truth.
Truth.
Truth.

What makes you feel free?

Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we are free at last!
Thanks MLK Jr.!

*On a private note, I’d like to express my gratitude for honorable & dedicated law enforcement!

**photo by flickr

Moving Thoughts Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It’s my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

Take it or leave it?

*photos by flickr