Love in the Time of Social Media (Part 1)

Social media reminds me of the fire-breathing dragon from Shrek. With new sites gaining popularity every day, social media oozes the intimidation factor…that is until you subdue it with your discipline and your wisdom. In other words, you bring your donkey. (Remember how the dragon became putty in Shrek’s hands as soon as the big purple scaly thing fell for the donkey?) 

(Those who haven’t seen Shrek are scratching their heads saying, “Where is she going with this one?”)

Keep reading. I promise I’ll lead you somewhere.

In this time of social media, knowledge, heck, information in general (doesn’t always fall in the category of knowledgeable) spreads like dragon-breathed fire. Because of this, a few things concerning love, your love, your passion become paramount in the process of discerning what to focus on and what to click away from.

What is it that excites you when you wake up? Are you a mom? A writer? A photographer? An abolitionist?  You love something. You’re passionate about something.

Because of social media you’ve found networks to connect with, people who share your passion. This is good. But like so many good things in life, social media has another side to its coin.

Today I’m going to explore the blessings and the curses of social media in our time. And how it impacts that calling, that love of yours.

Here’s something to ask yourself: Would you still feel as fervently about ________________ (your answer to the above) if every single social media site vanished tomorrow?

Take a moment to strip away all potential for online connection and you are left with ________________.

In other words, there must be something intrinsically valuable to you about what you love that no bad review, no shunning, no comparison trap, no unpredictable fluctuation in the market can take away.

We are wise to learn how to tap into the blessings of social media while not allowing ourselves to get tripped up by the curses.

Let’s do a little blessing/curse 101 review:

Blessings:

Social media has completely changed the way people interrelate and showcase their talents. Folks can interact with the potential to impact a worldwide audience. It’s convenient. It’s visual. Conversations are readily stirred to life.

Access to information has become fabulously available at our fingertips. Word of mouth and platform building are not only made possible through social media sites, but they are fueled by online exchange. Most of all, relationships can seed and develop in these venues.

Curses:

The true Flotsam & Jetsam spurned from social media are distraction and comparison. Your love has the potential to be knocked down and burnt down quicker than you can say dragon 1, human 0 when you aren’t careful with your time online.

Social media sites are often void of accountability, making it easier to evade depth and transparency.

It’s easy to become ensnared by a dangerous addiction to praise or an avoidance of criticism while navigating the murky waters of the web.

In the attempt to feed your passion by connecting with others, you may actually be starving it unaware. Online activity has a way of creating a false plumpness when the reality is your time spent actually mothering, writing, taking photos, or volunteering has dwindled down to that of a Slim Jim.

So, what’s the best way to bring your donkey when it comes to these blessings and curses? How do we remain wise and discerning in order to feed our love?

I think the following verses communicate the answer:

 “Do not neglect your gift.” 1 Timothy 4:14

“Live creatively, friends. Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Galatians 1a, 4-5 (Message) (thanks Wendy Lawton for pointing this verse out in a recent Books & Such blog post)

Remember to bring your donkey, folks!

*Warning: this post challenges you to live prayerfully, with discernment. It’s only for those open to growth.

**picture by stockXCHNG

***blogging rock star author celebrated on my FB writer page today

Where You’ll Find Me

Okay, so I’m not somewhere over the rainbow right now. Maybe someday. But until that day, I have found a few other hotspots online and I want you to know where to go when you’re looking to have your brain poked, or when you need a hearty belly laugh, or if you just feel like interacting with me.

Some of my favorite online haunts:

Twitter

Facebook

Facebook writer page

email me @ millerct1{at}cox{dot}net

Goodreads

& now I'm on Pinterest (look out!). wendypmiller

here at my main blog

& your blog…

(I love to comment…if I’ve been eerily absent from your space, your blog, your site, etc., shoot me a message and I’ll make an honest effort to come connect.)

I’m due for a hearty laugh, so if you know how to make that happen, reach out on any of the above sites!

*Raela Schoenherr posted some additional online sites for writers on Twitter yesterday. Check them out!

Pick a Number…Any Number

ideas of what I wanted to be when I grew up (a handful to a now certain one)

math scores (pick any number between 50-100)

high school fundraiser “popularity gauge” candy canes (one year, one, another year, twenty)

invites to attend Homecoming in high school (one year, nine, one year, none)

people I could call close friends (a roomful of rockin’ moms from a church mom’s group I led in Ohio, one old neighbor lady in Georgia)

digits on a scale (in my adulthood, a 30lb spread)

social networking stats on any given site on any given day (changing every day)

moments I’ve trusted in God’s love above what any number could reveal (hoping for an exponential increase on this one)

Numbers are concrete. I’m a novelist. I create imaginary worlds and make believe characters.

Numbers are concrete. More often than not they scare me because they don’t speak to me. They aren’t words. I adore words. Words fill the playground in my brain. I tend to kick numbers to the curb.

However, I’m aware numbers can be valuable at times. In publishing, for example, I’ll want to keep close tabs on how my books are selling. If I notice a lull, I’ll work harder to sell more books. I’ll pay attention to the numbers. I’m not blind to them. I pay attention now, too (sometimes more than I’d like). But numbers also tend mess with me. (Scale anyone?)

There are days I’ll see a number on one of my social networking sites and I’ll feel the lure to compare, but then I remember how much more gratifying it is to compete against myself (and my own current numbers). I remember how passionate I am about uplifting other women, even if that means their numbers get elevated and mine do not. I recall my deep desire to move forward in this industry with integrity, establishing genuine relationships based on something more than a notch on a computer screen. I remember why I’m here and the One whose opinion I care about most.

There will always be someone out there with more significant numbers, whether it’s more candy canes stacked on their desk or more pounds stacked on their hips. Someone with more friends or better scores. We are all created and gifted uniquely. I get so tired of all that weird competitive stuff that goes on between women. So what will I do, the rebel I am…I plan to celebrate the gifts I notice in other women, as I grow in confidence and strength whilst doing my own thang.

Who’s with me on this (because sometimes there really is power in numbers)?

*photo by flickr