Developing Lighthouse Friendships

Making lasting connections has always been important to me.

I’ve encountered some rough waters when it comes to friendship. Through the years I’ve learned so much about what it means to be a good friend. I’ve discovered what smooth sailing in relationships feels like.
~~~

Why do Solid Friendships Remind Me of Lighthouses and Ships at Sea?

• Close friends are fun to hang out with, just like lighthouses are fun places to visit. They are a welcome sight.


• My rich friendships stand out like beacons in my life. They are loyal when all grows dark.


• I’m guided by the wise advice my friends share with me, as well as the way they model integrity in their relationships. Ships and lighthouses survive through storms.


• My closer friends are bright and positive influences in my life (not draining and/or self-seeking). Instead, I experience a mutual give and take. One acts like the lighthouse one day and becomes the ship the next.


• Some of the most rewarding and beautiful friendships I’ve had are the way they are because of the lighthouse keeper. They operate from a Holy Spirit place of love, relying on the light keeper to care for us so we can care for one another.

In these days when connections can be made online or offline, how have I worked to secure these relationships?

Here are four of the best ways to develop lighthouse friendships:

• Take Risks

We’ve moved over six times in the eleven years we’ve been married. I should have a black belt in friend making by this point. I’m unafraid of striking up a conversation on the playground, shooting an email to invite someone over, or going out of my way to help a preschool mom, etc.

Recently I had one of the most refreshing lunches I’ve had in quite some time with a fellow author all because I bothered to reach out. You might not make a strong connection—unable to anchor and get deep, but it never hurts to try.

• Find Common Ground

What do a ship and a lighthouse have in common? The ocean, of course. Friendships thrive when there’s something binding them together—when there’s a common focus. Look for it. You’d be amazed how easy commonalities are to unearth. The obvious connections I’ve made would be with fellow moms, but I’ve also grown close to women who share a love of chocolate, reading, asking questions, and leading.

• Look to Serve

Uplift and build up others before you think to ask others to build you up. The lighthouse doesn’t make the ship give it something before it shines the light—it simply shines the light. It takes the lead. Having this mindset is essential in creating strong bonds. Be a lighthouse or a ship, not the barnacles suctioned to the rocks.

• Be Bold with Gratitude & Follow Up

Modern lighthouses flash and have the capability of rotating 180 degrees. It isn’t enough to express gratitude in a friendship once. It’s imperative to follow up nowadays, while still in the building stages of the friendship, but also once anchored. It’s worth it to keep that light flashing.

And don’t forget to thank the light keeper who makes wonderful friendships possible.

What have you learned about strengthening friendship bonds?

One Question Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It's my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

Talk
or
Listen?

*Congratulations to Jan Cline and A.L. (Amy) Sonnichsen! You were chosen by random selection and you both get a copy of Chasing Superwoman.
Please email your address to millerct1{at}cox{dot}net
**photos by flickr

Chasing Superwoman by Susan M. DiMickele

What does an average day look like for you? If you’re laughing at that question right now, Susan M. DiMickele’s stories will resonate with you. In Chasing Superwoman, DiMickele explains what it’s like to balance life as trial lawyer and as a mother of three children.

Laugh out loud examples and honest reflections of what it’s like to be a multitaskaholic make Chasing Superwoman both a relatable and enjoyable read.

If ever your child has busted out naked at the most inopportune time this book is for you. When DiMickele describes a day shopping at Macy’s, I swore I was reading something right out of a page of my own parenting history. Hiding inside clothes racks. Escalators. Are you with me, moms?

And tapping into her Lady Lawyer role, as she calls it, DiMickele vents about nasty parking garages and how she’s resorted to writing in her calendar “Meeting at HS re: H&B” when she plans to attend an all important “Meeting at Hair Salon regarding Hair and Brows.”

DiMickele shares her encounters with such a blend of humility and accrued wisdom; she endears readers to her passion for her career and her role as mother. She emphasizes that while engaging in a promising career and building into her children’s futures is taxing, she doesn’t feel like she must choose one or the other. Her career and her children add to her life and God has gifted her in both capacities.

It’s been a pleasure to connect with Susan online. She wants to connect with you too. She’s sending me two copies of Chasing Superwoman to give away. To enter the drawing, leave a comment with a memorable mom moment. I’ll announce the winners on Friday.

About the Author: Susan DiMickele serves as partner in a large law firm and has practiced law for nearly fifteen years. She has won numerous professional honors, including being named Ohio Super Lawyer since 2004 and being selected for The Best Lawyers in America. She has written dozens of articles in her field and has served as a contributing author to several national publications. For the past seven years, her greatest accomplishment and challenge is raising her three children to know and love God. She is happily married to her husband of eighteen years, Doug, and they are the proud parents of Nicholas, Anna, and Abigail.

Susan's blog: http://susandimickele.blogspot.com/

Susan on Twitter: http://twitter.com/LawyerMommy

*As a side, I’ve loved every single book I’ve read published by David C. Cook.

**Now enter the drawing for your copy of Chasing Superwoman. ;)

Prologue Recovery Program

Prologue
Disclaimer: the following post is not intended to be hurtful, but rather I solely aim to poke fun at myself.

Hi, my name is Wendy and I’m addicted to prologues.
~

Group chimes in: Hi Wendy.
~

Hairy Group Facilitator (GF) locks eyes with Wendy: How did this begin? What started this?
~

Wendy: I blame Beach Music. Even The Book Thief. Didn’t matter it was short in that one. Who cares about the length? It’s there isn’t it? One sentence is enough, right? I’m hooked. I paid too much attention to what I read—to what I liked, I guess.

GF: Okay, no more blame game. Let’s focus on you. What’s your drive to include prologues in your work? What makes you prologue?

Wendy: If I had an answer for that I wouldn’t be here, would I?

GF: Ah, you’re one of those, huh?

Wendy: One of what?

GF: You add in prologues because you’ve seen it done, but you haven’t explored your own need for them. You don’t know why they keep you up at night thirsting for a beginning to the beginning.

Wendy: I know why I add them.

GF: Why then?

Wendy: I don’t owe you a reason.

GF: How do you ever plan to break yourself from this prologue addiction if you’re not gonna fess up?

Wendy (in a whisper): I like prologues.

GF: And you want us to believe they’re always good—helpful to you and your work even?

Wendy: Well, I guess I’m here for a reason. Maybe I don’t need them as badly as I think I do.

GF: It’s why it’s called addiction.

Wendy: So is there a twelve-step program for people like me? Do I need to stay away from books with prologues?

GF: That depends. Are you willing to openly admit it’s a problem?

Wendy coughs and dodges eye contact: Okay, fine. It’s a problem.

GF: I won’t even tell you what F.I.N.E. stands for.

Wendy: I already know. Thanks.

Do you prologue? If so, is it becoming a problem?

*photos by flickr

One Question Friday

Every Friday I’m going to ask a question. The questions I choose might be ambiguous on purpose. The goal is to have you answer the question according to your beliefs, where you’re at in life or a circumstance that might have recently impacted you. The only thing I ask is that you provide an explanation for why you answered the way you did.

It is my hope to understand you better through this and also to gain a greater understanding of humanity and how people make decisions.

Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday?

*photos by flickr

Firewords

Words are wonderfully playful. Here’s a list I’d like to see tap dancing across a stage or shot into the sky like fireworks. Firewords.

Onomatopoeia
Wonky
Persnickety
Scuttlebutt
Ampersand
Catawampus
Marsupial

Flabbergast

Any words you’d like to see uncorked from a champagne bottle?

*I'm still teaching the writing workshop (ends tomorrow). The kids are asking great questions and they're taking lots of risks. Loving it.

**photos by flickr

Light-seeds

The following verse stirred something in me recently & has been inspiring me every day since I discovered it:
Light-seeds are planted in the souls of God’s people…
~from Psalm 97, The Message

~~~

*I’m going to be jumping on & off Blogger this week. I’ll be hard at work teaching a Creative Writing Workshop for 2nd-6th graders.
**photos by flickr