On Mothering

You’ve heard of Stephen King’s, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft? Today I’m going to give you a glimpse of On Mothering: A Memoir of the (it took everything inside me not to write the rhyming word with one less letter).

Really though, my pastor’s wife always says, “the proof will be in the pudding” when I commend how she’s raising her children. I’m newer on this road of parenting. My children are young. I cannot claim to spout off untold wisdom about life as mother. I can only tell you where I’ve been and what I’ve learned so far.

Before I do that I want to put something out there in cyberspace. I sometimes avoid detailing things on my blog that are closest to my heart. I’m careful when I write about my children and will continue to be. Also, I don’t see parenting as a job. Is it work? YES. Is it harder then I ever dreamed it would be? YES. Yesterday I wrote a blog about most engaging and most repulsive jobs and you’ll notice I neglected to mention my role as a mom in both (though at times I question if it could fall into both) categories. Why did I omit this role, this job that I hold so close to my heart? I did so because parenting feels more like a mission or a great assignment (as does writing, actually) than a job. But mothering is a mission I will always give the higher value to.

It’s sort of like what Paul wrote in Philippians. Without revealing details, I can tell you that in regards to motherhood, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.” Knowing this makes me appreciate my great assignment as mother all the more.

Now, onto the advice part…

Allow yourself to fail (Did I just write that? Yep, I did. Stop having an internal dialogue on the page).

I mean, you can allow yourself to fail while not allowing yourself to be a failure as a parent. There’s a difference and it’s a big one.

We’ll make mistakes as parents. It’s inevitable. Did you know that a child can learn so many things from how we handle our own mistakes? If we yell too loudly, act crabby to a stranger, unfairly accuse our child of something, we can accept the fact we made a mistake…AND THEN…we can: Say Sorry. Apologizing can be such a teaching lesson for our children to witness. I’m convinced children need a human authority more than they need a robot one. When we do this, we still maintain our authoritative role; accepting responsibility, showing humility and modeling being forgiven all in one lesson.

Besides, being able to say sorry shows your child that you’re willing to grow too, that you care about impressions they’re receiving and finally, that you follow God’s lead first in your life.

Good Parenting to You!

Working Wednesday

I'm concentrating a lot of my time and energy on this new project (I mentioned it the other day and was extremely grateful for the abundance of advice I received about its conception).

I wanted to write up something fun and simple, so what came to mind? A List!

Here are my top 10's (in random order):

Most Engaging Jobs:

1. Hot Air Balloon Operator


2. Hospital Chaplain (with a focus in crisis management)


3. Novelist (Freelance Writer, Journalist, Musical Lyricist, Blogger, Essayist...anything to do with putting words on a page)


4. Interviewer


5. Food Critic


6. Mail Carrier


7. Firefighter


8. Youth Pastor


9. English Professor


10. Boat Person (is there a job where you can just ride around on a boat all day...a sailor perhaps? That's what I want to do and get paid for it of course).

Most Repulsive Jobs:

1. Anything to do with Money & Numbers (Accountant, Banker...you get the drift)


2. Plumber


3. Administrative Assistant


4. Assembly Line Worker


5. Kindergarten Teacher (hey, at least I know my weaknesses)


6. Model


7. Flight Attendant


8. Road Worker/Cementer


9. Dental Hygienist


10. Gastric Endocrinologist

For anyone who does the latter 10...I respect you and I feel for you. For anyone who does the first 10...are you hiring (especially for the boat person job)?

What makes your list of engaging & repulsive jobs?

Happy Working!

Dust or Design?

I've already let you know I'm not a science chick. Well, I'm not a numbers girl either. Nothing terrified me more in 5th grade than my own personal nemesis -- long division board races. But these numbers, these numbers I'm about to write down...they grabbed my attention.

Francis Chan was alluding to the brevity of our lives in his book, Crazy Love when he mentions, "Throughout time, somewhere between forty-five billion and one hundred twenty-five billion people have lived on this earth." And then, just for fun he wrote the number out, "That's 125,000,000,000."

So what do you make of that? Are we merely dust in the wind? People to be forgotten? Or are we unique and intentionally crafted vessels for God to use?

I'm sure you have an opinion. I do and if you've been reading my blog at all, you've learned I'm not too bashful to share it.

I think we are both. I think we are dust, living for only a speck on the timeline of all life and living beings. But I also think we have purpose and we have influence and we are a design like no other.

How do you respond to the enormity of those numbers (and what about the gap in between)?

Are we dust or design? Or are we both?

Calling All Writers

I plan to write a regular blog later today, but I'm anxious to get some advice from my writer friends I've been connecting with lately.

Here's my dilemma:

• I have one novel completed (being looked at).
• I have two other novels at least 50 pages in, but life took over and I stopped writing them (I plan to complete both in the future).
• I am well into a non-fiction work (with a goal of completing the first draft in Oct.)

All of a sudden a new character keeps banging on the door of my brain and this morning I began to write her story. It fires me up. I know it's original & intriguing and I'm being infiltrated with character details about her...(the idea surfaced months ago...but now the details are surfacing).

Here's where I need the help of my writer friends--Advice:

Do I stick to completing the non-fiction work? Do I "go with this new character"...b/c I'm not sure she'll allow me to stop anyway and continue to write this new work? I know most publishers/agents encourage writing in one genre anyway...so my mind's a flood and I'm asking for your input. Has this ever happened to you? If so, how have you brought it in and focused? Should I just work on what excites me at the time?

Thoughts???

Pandora's Box -- Writing What You Know All Too Well

Write what you know. If you've done a fair share of writing, you've heard this expression. Heck, even if you're entirely new to writing you've probably learned this. It's an innate gut thing anyway...to write what's familiar, what we've studied and what we're confident writing about.

Here's where the predicament comes in. Family secrets. What do we do about sharing family secrets? I have some guidelines that I go by. I'll reveal those later, but for now let's open up this box and see what we come up with.

We all have skeletons in our closets. Any one person could readily gather some pretty fierce material by studying and being around certain family members. We all have it within our potential to rip the masks off our family secrets every time we sit down to type at the keyboard. It is within our power. It can even be seen as a gift, something of our own Pandora's box.

Pandora, a Greek mythological female figure decided, whether out of malicious intent or sheer curiosity, to open the box that released and unveiled all of the evils of mankind. Ouch. Not good. Not good at all Pandora.

But are we much different if we intentionally choose to write about those in our lives and describe them in exact detail, shredding their character, tossing their weaknesses on the page as easily as rolling dice?

Here are my thoughts. Families are messy. We all know this. If you really feel you must divulge deep dark family secrets (that are more incriminating to others than they'd be to yourself) I suggest two things:

1. Ask for the blessing. Go to whomever you plan to write about and ask about their comfort level. If they are adamant about your not writing about them, don't--at least not for publication. It's not worth it. It's not worth damaging relationships in order to have a supremely published piece of gritty non-fiction. There are millions of journals out there where you can let the gunk out.


2. You've heard the saying, "Turn that frown upside down." Well do that but instead, turn non-fiction into fiction. Change details, add subtle stand-outs that don't resemble loved ones. Be creative...it's what writers do! Write what you know, but know it differently. (*Disclaimer -- The books I'm working on don't represent anyone from my family. The characters aren't you...if anyone from my family is reading this. :D )

Finally, an important point about Pandora. Hope is still in the box. She left it in there. That's the good stuff. We can open up our own boxes when we write, letting Hope fly out onto the page and turn our history, our past filled with pain, tragedy and skeletal bones into something beautiful, original and free from condemnation or guilt.

This brings me to Ezekiel 37. If you've never read through the Bible...I'm telling you it's filled with highly creative stuff --stuff beyond the imagination. Anyway, check out Ezekiel. The bones, you know the ones I was talking about...those skeletons...God makes them walk! Here's a teaser before I go:

"This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life..." Ezekiel 37:5

Write Freely and Often!

Also, I stopped by here today to write a little something. Feel free to check it out.

You Look Just Like...

I'm not sure anyone has caught me in a dead stare and said, "You know, you look just like..." I'm just not convinced my "twin" is out there anywhere.

Recently I came across this website, My Heritage. And well, you know me. I jumped right in trying all kinds of face recognition experiments. Really, why can't I just do something casually? Why do I have to throw myself into things so?

Anyway, if you feel like having a little fun, navigate over to their site, upload some photos and have good laugh. I realize I don't look all that much like Meg Ryan. But I'm not sure I look like the other results either, Sara Evans, Kim Cattrall, Kate Winslet or Helen Hunt. I will admit I do think I look a bit like Robin Wright Penn (I think she's still married to Sean). Maybe a little like Amanda Peet too, if I had to choose.

Just having a little fun with you today.

Hope your weekend is blessed.

Here's My Brother

Brian Welch, formally of Korn, offers a succinct answer for the hope he now has. I know this hope. This is what happened to me. Different scenario…same spiritual path.

I’ll juxtapose this video (please watch it, it had me in tears yesterday) with the song my daughter sings at preschool:

My God is so great, so strong and so mighty.
There’s nothing my God cannot do.
The mountains are his. The rivers are his.
The stars are his handiwork too.
My God is so great, so strong and so mighty.
There’s nothing my God cannot do…for you!

Writing Update:

I recently got word my work will be in several forthcoming publications.

(Praise God!)

Good Friday to You!