Have you ever been cruising along on course until at once a
vine entraps your leg yanking you down what feels like an endless hole? Yeah,
hasn’t really happened to me either. Except metaphorically it has. Seems to be
a regular thing for my cognitive labyrinth. Par for the course for writers. I
think it’s because we’re highly attuned to our surroundings (yeah, that’s it).
No matter, it happens. We’re all vulnerable to fall into the
comparison trap. It’s one thing to challenge ourselves, to engage in healthy
competition, but it’s something else entirely when our self-worth and our sense
of being tumbles into the trap. It’s important to remain on guard for vines
desperate to tangle around our ankles and holes that appear out of nowhere.
8 Signs You Are
Falling into the Comparison Trap:
Souring Outlook
When the world tints from a lyrical “What a Wonderful World”
to “Welcome to the Jungle” then you know you’re likely about to hit quicksand.
Sentences in your head go from “Man, what a beautiful day” to “I’m sweatin’
like a beast.” Optimism straight down the elevator shaft to pessimism central.
Shrinking Dream
Directly tied in to your souring outlook, lately you’ve also
discovered your dream seems like it’s been shoved in a Ball jam jar with the
lid sealed tightly on it. Your dream used to be giraffe tall, bounding across
expansive plains. Now it’s a barely flickering firefly.
From Curiosity to
Obsession
At first you just convince yourself you’re checking in on
“her” so much because she’s your competition. “Little healthy competition never
hurt anyone, right?” Not so fast. You’ve gone from a sneak peek to setting up
camp on her yard, on her website, heck you’ve practically braided yourself into
her hair. Time to back away from the so-called competition and evaluate the two
“I”s. Investment and intention. How much time are you investing “comparing” and
what are your intentions?
All about Numbers
In my industry social media has become the new “it” craze and
following numbers can get a little addictive. It’s easy to lose perspective. To
click on Google Analytics in the morning, noon, and night. To feed your numbers
craving by assessing your Facebook page stats, blog stats, Twitter stats, heck
even Pinterest stats (why leave Pinterest out of this?). Surefire indicator
your foot is slipping, when numbers become your god.
Waning Love of
Vocation
You used to pounce out of bed, excited to reach the drawing
board. To have a crack at the craft. But you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling. It’s
petered out like a Fourth of July sparkler. And to what do you owe this waning
feeling? You’ve set yourself up against somebody you’re not supposed to be—some
role you’re not meant to fulfill and it’s lights out for you because of it.
Green Grass Syndrome
My neighbor planted the most beautiful flower bed near her
driveway. I look at it every morning in admiration (and a tinge of jealousy).
Her grass is green. Her grass doesn’t have grubs. But then I visit with her and
she tells me about all the other kinds of pests she deals with on her lawn.
It’s never as green and bountiful as it appears, trust me.
In Want
Suddenly you are paying much more attention all you don’t
have. Commercials hold more appeal. Women look prettier, glossier, with killer
mascara. Moms are carrying gorgeous bags and sporting those TOMS canvas shoes. Everyone
seems to be with it but you.
Seeking Validation
from All the Wrong Places
We all like validation. It’s part of our wiring, to hear
that we’re doing okay, that someone is proud of us, etc. But at some point we
need to know and trust our own steps on the path. If you’re constantly looking
behind you, to your side, or up ahead for someone to nod before you take
another step, be warned that next step might very well be down a gaping pit.
What happens when you’ve fallen into a trap? It’s immensely difficult
to get out. That’s why it pays to know when you’re close to losing ground. So
you can stand firm, then move in the right direction at the right time. Have
you experienced any of the above?
*photo by stock.XCHNG
