When Is It Time to Give Up On Your Dream?

 

 

 

Never.

8 Dream Slayers—Two Sides, Same Sword

Have you ever given thought to the words or false beliefs that kill your dreams before they have a chance to grow? No surprise, I have. What’s the saying, knowing is half the battle? I’m going to unsheathe this sword coated with all kinds of reflective discouragement.

Let’s have a look at eight common dream slayers…

I Can’t Do This

Defeated, discouraged, staring at the mountain ahead with dropped jaw and drooped shoulders. One of the best ways to guarantee you’ll freeze in place, paralyzed and unable to take another step, is to tell yourself you can’t move.

I Can Do This All on My Own

Flip the I Can’t Do This sword and you have the stubborn, “Back off, I’ve got this” mule-spirited, “I’m the only one who’ll do it right” belief that at the base of the mountain reveals nothing more than…a braying ass.

We all need help.

I Don’t Have the Right Tools or Enough Knowledge

Weakness. Fear. Inadequacy. Feeling less than. These can all be altered, adjusted, melted down into more useful and motivating feelings.

I Don’t Need to Learn Anything More as I Pursue this Dream

Flip it and you get…youch. Danger zone. Every single second we’re alive offers an opportunity to absorb, to acquire life-changing knowledge—dream-charging knowledge.

It’ll Take Too Much Effort

Okay, Eeyore, I get it, life gets hard sometimes.  Walking from one room to the next can feel like you’re carrying a million monkeys on your back. Time to fling off the monkeys. One at a time. Or as my good friend Bob would say, “Baby steps.” It’s how things get done.

I’ll Lean on Others to Carry Most of the Load

Come on and take a free ride, freeloader. This side of the sword paints the image of someone dumping bricks on all those around them as they build. No one likes to have bricks toppled over their head. They remember things like that. As my good friend Samwise says, “Share the load.”

This Will Take Too Long

For all those in the publishing biz, I smile with you. It’s a long and wiiiiiiiiiiiiiinding road for sure. One of the most rewarding things I’ve done during the wait time is remembering how enamored I am with writing. I work hard to appreciate writing for what it is and what it does and who it leads me to be before any publishing rewards come. We are here in the now—might as well make the best of it.

I’ll Make it Happen in a Cinch

Ha. Laughing with me yet? Easy peasy lemon squeezy my left foot. Dreams require work, time invested—heart and ruthless determination sometimes.

Delayed gratification. Releasing control. Expecting obstacles. Trusting God. All of these are good for the soul. They change us (for the better).

Can you think of some more dream slayers?

*photo by stock.XCHNG

Dream

The world is waiting for your dreams…

What’s your dream?

8 Signs You Are Falling into the Comparison Trap

Have you ever been cruising along on course until at once a vine entraps your leg yanking you down what feels like an endless hole? Yeah, hasn’t really happened to me either. Except metaphorically it has. Seems to be a regular thing for my cognitive labyrinth. Par for the course for writers. I think it’s because we’re highly attuned to our surroundings (yeah, that’s it).

No matter, it happens. We’re all vulnerable to fall into the comparison trap. It’s one thing to challenge ourselves, to engage in healthy competition, but it’s something else entirely when our self-worth and our sense of being tumbles into the trap. It’s important to remain on guard for vines desperate to tangle around our ankles and holes that appear out of nowhere.

8 Signs You Are Falling into the Comparison Trap:

Souring Outlook

When the world tints from a lyrical “What a Wonderful World” to “Welcome to the Jungle” then you know you’re likely about to hit quicksand. Sentences in your head go from “Man, what a beautiful day” to “I’m sweatin’ like a beast.” Optimism straight down the elevator shaft to pessimism central.

Shrinking Dream

Directly tied in to your souring outlook, lately you’ve also discovered your dream seems like it’s been shoved in a Ball jam jar with the lid sealed tightly on it. Your dream used to be giraffe tall, bounding across expansive plains. Now it’s a barely flickering firefly.

From Curiosity to Obsession

At first you just convince yourself you’re checking in on “her” so much because she’s your competition. “Little healthy competition never hurt anyone, right?” Not so fast. You’ve gone from a sneak peek to setting up camp on her yard, on her website, heck you’ve practically braided yourself into her hair. Time to back away from the so-called competition and evaluate the two “I”s. Investment and intention. How much time are you investing “comparing” and what are your intentions?

All about Numbers

In my industry social media has become the new “it” craze and following numbers can get a little addictive. It’s easy to lose perspective. To click on Google Analytics in the morning, noon, and night. To feed your numbers craving by assessing your Facebook page stats, blog stats, Twitter stats, heck even Pinterest stats (why leave Pinterest out of this?). Surefire indicator your foot is slipping, when numbers become your god.

Waning Love of Vocation

You used to pounce out of bed, excited to reach the drawing board. To have a crack at the craft. But you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling. It’s petered out like a Fourth of July sparkler. And to what do you owe this waning feeling? You’ve set yourself up against somebody you’re not supposed to be—some role you’re not meant to fulfill and it’s lights out for you because of it.

Green Grass Syndrome

My neighbor planted the most beautiful flower bed near her driveway. I look at it every morning in admiration (and a tinge of jealousy). Her grass is green. Her grass doesn’t have grubs. But then I visit with her and she tells me about all the other kinds of pests she deals with on her lawn. It’s never as green and bountiful as it appears, trust me.

In Want

Suddenly you are paying much more attention all you don’t have. Commercials hold more appeal. Women look prettier, glossier, with killer mascara. Moms are carrying gorgeous bags and sporting those TOMS canvas shoes. Everyone seems to be with it but you.

Seeking Validation from All the Wrong Places

We all like validation. It’s part of our wiring, to hear that we’re doing okay, that someone is proud of us, etc. But at some point we need to know and trust our own steps on the path. If you’re constantly looking behind you, to your side, or up ahead for someone to nod before you take another step, be warned that next step might very well be down a gaping pit.

What happens when you’ve fallen into a trap? It’s immensely difficult to get out. That’s why it pays to know when you’re close to losing ground. So you can stand firm, then move in the right direction at the right time. Have you experienced any of the above?

*photo by stock.XCHNG