I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly I needed to pray.
But a place for this indiscernible prayer hollowed out my insides. I felt the
atrophy as one feels weakened by a fever. I felt in need…a quaking in me to
ask.
But ask what?
How could I, would I take the time to pinpoint the longing
with a myriad of needs pressing in on me, pulling me, and spinning me with
tornadic force?
Then I stepped outside and captured this photo…
And blue as the sky, it pierced me—what I needed to ask. All
that had begun to dry up and brittle synched with clarity. A strengthening of
my bones sprung from the asking.
Breathe life into me.
In the hurried.
“Mom, I can’t find my cleats” two minutes before practice. Breathe life into me.
In the stress.
Awake after hours of wrestling with sleep, declaring myself
the loser and retreating downstairs for a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats. Breathe life into me.
In the weakness.
I can’t go through this again. This loss. This turmoil of
the familiar bleeding into this relationship. Remove the pain. Breathe life into me.
In all the change.
New job. Church. Close friends moving. House renovations.
Writing decisions. Contact with loved ones. Breathe life into me.
In the clogged funnel
of roles.
Work a little longer. Get child to orthodontist. Pump out
another few thousand words. Lungs begging for a solid run. Book club. Bible.
Dog threw up. Teacher appreciation day. Breathe
life into me.
In all that I am.
Wounded. Saved. Wrecked. Amped. Sensitive. Creative. Passionate.
Questioning. Feisty. Restless. Open. Vulnerable. Roaring. Wandering the endless
maze of my synapses. Breathe life into
me.
And all I’ll never
be.
Perfect. Breathe life
into me.
And looking up into the shock of this tree I woke up to it,
to what I needed.
For life to be breathed into my soul.
Because moments pass quickly and days are swallowed whole in
the blink of time. I ached for my life to have breath restored, surging in me,
my spiritual lungs on fire again.
As I write this I still feel the whisper of his breath
grazing my soul, filling the hollow place of asking, needing, wanting, lacking.
And it is, indeed, good.
And life is revived. Even in the asking. In the humbling act
of petitioning, he’s already exhaling. Giving and giving and giving.
Have you ever been
blessed in the asking?
“God, the Master, told
the dry bones, ‘Watch this: I’m bringing the breath of life to you and you’ll
come to life. I’ll attach sinews to you, put meat on your bones, cover you with
skin, and breathe life into you. You’ll come alive and you’ll realize that I am
GOD!’” Message 37:4
Thank you for sharing your heart. I really needed this today!
ReplyDeleteGlad it got through.
DeleteThis post blessed me, Wendy. Encourage me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMost welcome, Beth!
DeleteI love this. Beautiful and encouraging.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Julie! Means a lot.
DeleteLove it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAw thanks!
DeleteSometimes there are no words to express what other words have done for the soul. Thank you, Wendy. I can see God smiling at you.
ReplyDeleteWow, you blessed me with these words!
DeleteWendy: This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing this inspirational piece with us.
ReplyDeleteMost welcome. Thank you for your encouragement!
DeleteThat picture is STUNNING.
ReplyDeleteI've actually been praying a similar prayer. I've been feeling stressed and busy and I just wanted my spirit renewed in Him and to have my true Joy back. He heard me and is working in me.
I swear it has to be my favorite thing to photograph. This is a crazy time of year. A friend with older kids used to tell me and I'd laugh, thinking bring it on. Now I'm kind of wishing someone would take at least some of it away.
DeleteSo often we forget that, don't we? That God is the giver of life and all things good...and we can strive and strive and get lost in it all, struggling for breath. When all we really need to do is ask.
ReplyDeleteSomething so beautiful and humbling in the asking. Knowing our place.
DeleteOh, Wendy, you ministered to me today in a mighty way, as you so often do. I've been feeling parched for quite some time and appreciate the reminder that all I have to do at times like this is ask the Lord to fill me up, to energize me, to breathe life into me.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you as you seek life in the midst of the busyness, brokenness, and butterflies-in-the-stomach days.
Thanks for the viral hugs & for the encouragement, Keli! You are so good for that.
DeleteOh my goodness, Wendy, I know this. You put it so powerfully. I can only follow your footsteps and ask the same--breathe life into me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt has been my mantra in recent weeks. ;-)
DeleteYour writing is pure poetry, Wendy. We get so wrapped up in the doing that we forget to allow the Lifegiver to pour His life in us. (The last phrase is from a song in, The Witness.)
ReplyDeleteI think that's the part of being a doer--a mover that trips me up...remembering who appoints me, who fuels me with strength. Thanks for your kind words!
DeleteThis is wonderful, Wendy, and just what I needed to hear today. As Susan said, we get so wrapped up in doing that we forget the important things. Time to unwrap today.
ReplyDeleteI love that this is reaching people--that it reached you, Karen! I know it was a message I really needed restored.
DeleteSo beautiful, Wendy! Loved this quote: Because moments pass quickly and days are swallowed whole in the blink of time.
ReplyDeleteSo true. And nice shot!
Thanks Melanie! I like to pretend I know what I'm doing with my camera. ;-) I see babies all the time lately and I keep wondering how my kids grew out of that stage so fast.
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