Monday, October 24, 2011

Caught in the Undertow



Lately I’ve been caught in the undertow of some disorienting thoughts. I wasn’t exactly sure how to describe them (and some I still haven’t found a way to pinpoint) but when I read the following paragraph in THE GIRLS by Lori Lansens (a book I’m currently devouring) something resonated. In this book the main character, Rose fleshes out one of thoughts crashing against me.


“I’m filled with confidence when I begin, but by the end of a writing night I’m left to wonder if other writers feel the way I do—that with each letter, word, phrase, sentence, paragraph, I’m digging a toe-hold, gripping a rock, a fool on a mountainside, alone and ill-equipped, a disastrous fall more likely than a gloried ascent. Why did I start climbing? Where am I now? Who gives a sh** if I reach the summit?”


So there you have it. The writing life (and life in general) ain’t all sunshine and synonyms. Sometimes we climb despite our doubt. Sometimes we dig our toes so far in the sand the raging current, in all its fury, cannot move us.


Right now I’m magically doing both.

*Thankfully, the tides have turned some since I wrote this post. I debated not posting it, but as a writer I’m called to tell the truth and the truth isn’t always pretty.
**
Check out who I get to uplift on my FB All “I”s on __________! (Mid-morning.)
***photo by flickr

26 comments:

  1. Guess we've been tracking on the same page lately! :)

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  2. Amen, preach it, sista. I'm going on an e-vacation for a week or so, about as soon as I finish typing this response to your precious blog. I'm glad I read this today as my "send-off." You are not alone, dear Wendy. Press on and writing mercies to you . . . for Him!

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  3. I feel this right with you, girl! And I absolutely LOVE your honesty!

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  4. I guess that's when I call upon the sheer grit of determination and face down the raging current until the tide turns.

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  5. I thought this very thing sitting in the sanctuary yesterday. Until my Pastor said something awful and awesome: God believes in writing thigs down~ hence we have His Word.

    As a writer that is a comfort for some of my chaos and a crinkle in my plans to throw in the towel:)

    www.tamikaeason.com

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  6. I've totally been there. I'm glad things look better now.

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  7. Wendy, it is so comforting to know that other writers feel this way sometimes. It's so easy to believe I'm the only one that feels this way. Thanks for your honesty!

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  8. Thanks for not pulling it, Wendy--we love you for your authenticity. ALL of us feel this way--it would be lying to say we didn't.

    P.S. I give a ---- what you have to say, m'dear

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  9. I am SO with you on this one! Sometimes I'll think, does the world really need what I'm writing? Then I'll think, it doesn't matter because I need it. :)

    I'm selfish that way!

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  10. I love your honesty, Wendy. Your words encourage me more than you'll ever know. As a newbie, I'm so encouraged to find other writers who are further along on this incredible journey.

    Blessings,
    Mel

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  11. I've been battling an undertow in some areas as well. Working on moving forward by God's grace. Thanks for sharing this, Wendy.

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  12. Oh, you know how I feel most of the time. Ah, the emotions of men, verses the truth. Thanks, Wendy.

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  13. I'm so there. Thanks for posting this.

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  14. Oh, yeah. You're definitely not alone with this one!!

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  15. You voiced what so many are feeling! So glad things are looking up!

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  16. Wendy, glad to hear the tide has changed for you!

    Writing is definitely an up and down journey and any given day can have us riding high one minute only to crash the next with no words to keep us going. It has a tendancy to give us whiplash at times, doesn't it?

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  17. I think it helps to know that all writers have those moments of falling.

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  18. Wnedy- I'm write there with you and it comes and goes. Tamika's comment was fantastic. Thanks and happy writing!

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  19. I've got that book! Lovely in its writing, isn't it?

    I agree. As writers, we owe truth. Well done.

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  20. That excerpt certainly resonates! I've been there, feels like a million times now.
    Thanks for sharing Wendy!

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  21. Hi Wendy -

    I can't begin to tell you how often I feel this way. This writing life requires a certain toughness.

    Blessings,
    Susan :)

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  22. Thanks so much for your encouraging words...

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  23. Hi Wendy, thank you for the comment on my blog today! I love your blog, it feels nice and warm here!

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  24. Boy, it's always good to hear another writer fess up to the internal doubts! But maybe it means we're on to something great. If we aren't risking enough, then it won't be enough!

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  25. Love your honesty, Wendy! Thanks for posting this.

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