Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My Mama Sayings

Today’s post is inspired by Lysa Terkeurst’s new book, Becoming More. On page 58, she describes a list of typical “mama statements” you might overhear her saying before company visits.

I thought I’d draft my own list of mama sayings you could overhear me saying any ole time throughout the day.


Morning
“It’s not even 8:00 o’clock. What’s there to fight about this early?”
“Did you remember to put on underwear?” If I’m feeling extra overwhelmed and I forgot to bathe my kids the night before the saying might go more like this, “Did you change your underwear from yesterday?”
“Why is my spatula in the dog food bag?”
While changing a diaper, “You don’t really need to see your poop.”
“Yes, my bottom is supposed to move like that.”

Afternoon
“Don’t let the dog lick your toes.
Don’t lick the dog’s toes.”
“What’s that ring around your mouth?
Is that chocolate or dirt?”
“This wrapper {fill in the blank with about 100 other items} does not belong here.”
“I don’t think using Resolve carpet cleaner this many times a day is healthy for me.”
“Because normal people wear clothes.”
While potty training, “Everybody poops. Daddy poops. Mommy poops. Your sisters poop. Even the dog poops. Outside, the dog poops outside.”



Evening
“Don’t bang on the computer like that
or it will crash.”
“Sit down while we eat. What are you, a monkey?”
“We don’t talk about toots at the table.”
“Make room for your sister in the tub.
Stop kicking her in the face.”
“It’s time for bed.
Big Kiki is not coming to get you.”


Do you have any mama sayings you could be overheard saying any ole time? If you’re not a mom, did your mom have any memorable ones?




*dog photo by flickr. Monkey = mine

18 comments:

  1. LOL I'm sure I do.
    How about, "That's what happens when you don't listen" referring to an owie or broken something. LOL
    Or, "No talking about poopy at the table."
    Or, "Please eat your food and stop talking."
    LOL Too many to list, but I loved reading yours. :-)

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  2. The picture is adorable.

    My mommy moments are generally boring, but the one I seem to say a lot is "No picky, no sticky, no eatey." :O)

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  3. Haha! These are hilarious! Sounds like your house is a lot of fun!

    A year ago, I worked in an orphanage in the D.R. My spanish vastly improved simply because that was the only language these kids spoke. By the end I could really converse with the littlest ones, mostly because they didn't speak it all that well either. I found myself saying things I never thought I'd say and in another language.

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  4. Aww, you have the cutest little monkey. :)

    Love your mama sayings! I have many, too, about do this, don't do that, cleanliness checks, bodily functions, etc. It's all there.

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  5. Lol, these are all so familiar! Definitely, "No, you don't need to see your poop." "Stop flushing the toilet." "Sit down at the table." Yeah, there's a whole bunch :)

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  6. There have been statements coming out of my mouth that I never, ever imagined I would say to anyone...and yet they just stream from me from morning to night! ha ha Some of my KIDS personal faves that they laugh at are:

    "Noooo, hitting your sister is NEVER funny."

    "If I hear one more fart sound while we are at the table, NO one eats again. Ever."

    "What on earth would posess your brain to make you think that __________________ would be an ok thing to say/do???"

    *total deadpan voice* "...really?...I mean really??"

    My favorite mini conversation with my kids was about 5 years ago. All 7 of us were in the van...my oldest was stuck in the very back seat between 2 of her siblings when I hear her:
    "Mom!!!! She's breathing my air again!"
    My immediate reply?
    "Sorry, hun. When I tried to get her personal air bubble fixed, they were out of her brand of oxygen so we all have to share for now."
    *sigh*
    Ah the joys!

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  7. These were SO funny Wendy! Your little girl is so cute (even when she's crying!).

    A few frequents in our house:
    - Keep your hands to yourself, YES THOSE HANDS.
    - Because Mommy said so, that's why.
    - No, you may NOT throw that off the balcony.
    - Yes, I'll come wipe you...NO, YOU MAY NOT WIPE YOURSELF.

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  8. Cute little monkey! I have all kinds of mommy sayings. My favorite is "Because I said so."

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  9. Oh, I just love these sayings! And your daughter is the custest thing since hairbows!

    I used to say, "Let's ask your dad," and he'd say "What does your mom think?" when neither of us wanted to make a comittment.

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  10. Great post. :) I think the weirdest thing I've ever said was, "You go tell your brother that YOU are not target practice!"

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  11. very funny! We all have these, I think. It is what our kids will get together and laugh about when they are adults.

    Some of mine: You're not the mother
    If I see the gum, it's in the trash
    No arguing!
    She is you sister. Be nice.
    Life is not even and life is not fair but in the end we all get good things
    Yes, it is hard. But you can do hard things.

    and - I hope they remember the most important one : You are my joy, I love you.

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  12. A few I remember in addition to most of the above:
    Don't let your hamster eat your sister's hamster.
    Don't talk to me in that tone of voice. (However, I could to them...?)
    That's just a few.
    Ahhh, memories.
    Thanks Wendy

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  13. LOL We'd always say Cry, cry hard. Of course only when she was reallllllly whiny:))

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  14. Jessica, the "that's what happens" one is a classic.

    Diane, I'd be sad at the no eatey! The picture is almost a year old, but I love it. I've even posted it before.

    Kristen, sometimes my kids look at me as though I'm speaking in another language around here. Fun, yes. Chaotic, yes. Full of love, absolutely!

    Janna, I wasn't surprised to read back over my list and notice all of mine that revolved around bodily functions. Here's to bodily functions.

    Cindy, I've never understood the great toilet fascination. I might not have helped matters by declaring during potty training, "Have fun in pee pee land. Have fun in poo poo land." I imagine my kids might have an elaborate picture of what those lands might look like. What have I done?

    Bina, breathing air can be quite offensive. :D My husband and I loved that commercial where the couple is vacationing and the jack hammer goes nuts, "Really?"

    Beth, I love the no wiping yourself. Ah, I laughed out loud (notice the lack of abbreviation. :D )

    Lazy Writer, it's an oldie, but goodie.

    Jeanette, I read your response quickly and for some reason my mind kept wanting to read that my daughter is the cutest thing since eyebrows. We pull the same, "go ask" routine.

    Chelle, target practice, nice!

    Tess, great list. I most certainly want my loving comments to reign supreme.

    Karen, hamster one...a riot!

    Terri, I think we were commenting on one another's posts at the very same time. Cry, cry hard. I think I might need someone to say that to me every now and again. I might have gotten all my tears out as a teenager and as of late, I've run dry.

    Just wanted to slap some funny on you today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. The mind is a terrible thing to waste. So don't be a fried egg. Can you tell I've been runnin' all day and I'm a little tired-head. Picture me as the monkey w/out the tears.

    Thanks for the entertainment.
    I can't wait to audibly hear the sound of God's laughter!
    ~ Wendy

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  15. You want some more funny...check my blog - plus I gave you some pub!!! You rock!

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  16. This is so funny. My most prevalent one is, "You're driving me nuts." Followed by a list of nuts.

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  17. I enjoyed the sayings, I taught I was hearing myself and my mom! -Angelita http://www.thumbuddyspecial.com

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