8 Stages of Procrasti-writing

Last Wednesday I provided a list of the 8 (fabricated) Stages of Novel Writing. Loved the strong response to this post. Seems many of us are paddling along in the same boat. (Ah, paddle boats, remember those?) Anyhoo…I’m playing off the stages of grief again.

Quick review of those stages:

Denial & Isolation
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

But today I’m giving you the 8 Stages of Procrasti-writing. These are the times we spend our energy focusing on any method of writing other than concentrating on our novels or works in progress. Because we’re scared of the big bad beasts. I say we need to stop being sallies and get to it.

Before we can do that, however, let’s have a hearty chuckle about the tried and true ways we stall “the process”.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Doodle

Artwork stirs creative vigor. So what if it’s just lined paper pockmarked with seventy pictures of flowers or cartoons that closely resemble Popeye. All in the name of stirring.

The Grocery List (not to mention the infamous “To Do” list)

Must eat to incite meaningful story lines. Scrawl down avocados and carrots (the better to see the screen with). Oh, and throw tp on the list because it’s never fun to run out of that.

Na na na na na na na na…Notes

Main character has Medusa hair. No. Bird’s nest hair. No. Listen, if it’s taking this long to figure out the appearance of the MCs hair maybe it’s best not to comb through that one. Move ahead until the bouffant is bold.

Calling all Status Updates

Twitter, Facebook, anyone? Both are intentionally designed to stop writers in their tracks. A trick that often works with me is to ask myself: Is what I’m about to post necessary? And if it’s not necessary is at the very least funny? And if it’s not funny, is it at least…If not, I crack the whip on myself and get back to work.

Sure, I’ll Review Your Book

Because reviewing means I’m reading and reading is what authors do, right? If you’re anything like me when I write a book review, you take a studious approach. I’m careful with my wording. Sometimes it takes me over an hour to make sure I’ve adequately communicated all I intend to for a book review. And it’s still writing, right? Oh heck yeah. Except I’m neglecting to mention one wee little thing—it’s not my MS I’m writing about.

Thank You and Thank You and Thank You

The old fashioned thank you letter. Nothing beats it, except when it’s being used. Oh how sad, we even use thank you letters. We’ll just call this one the positive stall technique and leave it at that.

Researching Baby Names

Not pregnant, no one remotely close to you is pregnant. Makes perfect sense, you’re looking for character names. And everyone knows you can’t name your bad guys after any ex-boyfriends. Shucks, Carter would have been a perfect name in my fourth novel. Guess I better click on one of those name finder .com sites and scroll through to make note of some more.

Bucket List

The noble one of the bunch. This is the door holder of the crew, the queen of hearts, the longest straw. How can you vilify the creation of a bucket list, Wendy? I’m not. I’m pleading the fifth. However, I’ll say in a teeny tiny voice…it’s not going to add word count to your WIP. Ah, feels better to get that out. ;-)

Am I talking to anyone today?

*photo by stock.XCHNG

**Hmm…notice how I conspicuously left writing blog posts off my list of 8?